Paul Rudd credited as playing...
- Marty: You're gonna want to cut those apron strings. Otherwise you're never going to be a real man!
- Adam: I don't need to be a real man. I'm an actor!
- Rosie: Putz: noun - a yokel; a jerk.
- Censor: My rabbi consultant said it means penis.
- Rosie: We're allowed to say penis!
- Censor: Yes, you can say penis, but this is the bad penis. Like 'prick'.
- Rosie: And... what exactly is the *good* penis?
- Adam: [starts to take off his belt and unbutton his pants] Check it out.
- [snickers from ensemble of 'You Go Girl' actors]
- Rosie: Young is far superior to old.
- Adam: In what?
- Rosie: In everything.
- Adam: Oh yeah? Who's funnier: Tom Green, or George Carlin?
- Rosie: Well, that's a freak example.
- Adam: Hey, Zoloft. Your mom and I take the same medication.
- Izzie: Sounds like a firm basis for a relationship.
- Rosie: Remember when we had that talk about you being 29? I keep thinking about how... *young* that is.
- Adam: Well, I'm planning on getting older.
- Rosie: [laughs] Yeah, well I'm not planning on getting younger.
- Adam: That's just being stubborn.
- Adam: Honey, I'm home! Alone... Starring Macauley Culkin... As a boy who is inadvertently left by himself... At his house... When his parents go on a long vacation.
- Adam: Art without love is nothing. Nietzsche said that.
- [writer in commentary said she misremembered quote - it is by Nabokov]
- Rosie: [sudden panic about her lies] I'm 40!
- Adam: 29.
- Rosie: What happened to 30?
- Adam: What happened to 39?
- Rosie: You're not even in your 30s.
- Adam: Well, neither are you.
