Sometimes as I make my way thru Playboy's vintage titles, I feel like a glutton for punishment. All the signs were there that 'Sexy Shorts' was gonna be a poor title. From the concept to the tagline / plot description it would have been a major shock to see this go in the other direction. Welcome to storied segments where nudity comes in small doses and things are largely a bore. Yippee!
After a no nonsense intro (25 secs) we're greeted by "Face To Face". A sci-fi / fantasy concept with a man who has the ability to shapeshift to look, sound like other men so he can get laid. The best part is the casting of Steve Hytner besides a topless brunette (8.5 mins). "Limousine Service" sees two ladies get into said vehicle and stop at a deli to buy condoms. Hunky stranger (Michael Massee) joins them and a simulated threeway goes down in the backseat without much in the way of nudity. Cutting to the driver staring at the action in the rearview mirror, I hoped he'd crash the car as the scene continues to a cliche conclusion (10 mins).
"First Impressions" is a man in a bar, bunch of painful dialog, quick scenarios with him striking out. Then a stupid 'What Women Want' element via a special cocktail that allows him to hear what they're thinking and getting laid (13 mins). "Postcards" is a posh building concierge who lapses into dreams about the penthouse's wife (Monique Parent). Watches her strip, bangs her in the hot tub supplying some nice full body nudity (9.5 mins). "The Investigation" is a PI hired by a rich man convinced his wife is cheating. He wants her caught in the act yadda yadda yadda. She drops her bikini, sex in B&W (blah) and then a last minute lame reveal and naked in color (10 mins).
"Sweet ... Wild ... Don't" has an actress applying for a role by showing up to the directors house. Bunch of talk between her and the butler cue posing semi-clothed, nude. It should be noted the soundtrack up until this point has been keyboards and sexy saxophone. So cue the butler in the background playing a keyboard as she pleases herself. More dialog, sex on a kitchen table and post coitus there is the butler in the background again ... LOL (13 mins). "Sensual Spirit" sees a lady and a female genie bring more dialog of the worst sort. You probably think girl/girl is right around the corner and you aren't wrong but first you have to see a dude's dong, endure a meh boy/girl with heavy saxophone. It's cheese fit for a romance novel (18 mins).
'Sexy Shorts' is a huge waste of 85 minutes and easily one of the worst titles Playboy released. These stories are a bore, visuals don't redeem them. Very small pieces of mild nudity and one unintentional laugh is not enough reward for sitting through this piece. This was straight up awful.
