Eddie Murphy credited as playing...
Norbit • Rasputia • Mr. Wong
- Teen Attendant: Excuse me ma'am. We have a 300 lb weight limit.
- Rasputia: I don't weigh no damn 300 lbs. I weigh 165! How YOU doin'?
- Rasputia: Go over and get another wine cooler. It's hot as hell out here. Don't you see I'm sweltering?
- Norbit: Rasputia, you can't drink wine.
- Rasputia: Why the hell not?
- Norbit: You're with child.
- Rasputia: With child? I ain't with no... Oh. Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it.
- Rasputia: [farts] There's your child. Now go get me something to drink.
- Rasputia: [farts again] Twins!
- Rasputia: [laughs when Kate doesn't believe Norbit's story on Deion, a corrupt goldigger/cheater] Well, well, Norbit. You lose again! Once a loser, always a loser. Now, come on! Let's go!
- Norbit: [to Kate] Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. And that's why I took the liberty of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down so maybe they can tell you for themselves. LADIES!
- [Deion is shocked and frightened to see his three exes and their children walk in the church]
- Ex-Wife #1: Hello, Antoine! I've been looking everywhere for you.
- Children: Daddy!
- Ex-Wife #2: Antoine? He told me his name was Luther!
- Rasputia: Who is that ho?
- Ex-Wife #3: Luther? he told me he was gay!
- Deion Hughes: No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther.
- Ex-Wife #1: [angry] You dead, goldigger!
- Deion Hughes: [the wives and children are going towards him] I'm out!
- Pope Sweet Jesus: Look's like the wedding's off, bro.
- Lord Have Mercy: Church!
- Rasputia: [Rasputia gets into her car with Norbit and her chest keeps pressing the horn] God damm it, Norbit, how many times I got to tell you when you drive my car, don't adjust my seat?
- Norbit: I haven't touched your seat.
- Rasputia: Then why's it up so damn far?
- Norbit: It looks like it's back as far as it goes, Rasputia.
- Rasputia: No, you moved it! I can tell! Cuz look, when I inhale, my titty make the horn honk! See, listen!
- [horn honks]
- Rasputia: See that?
- [horn honks again]
- Rasputia: That ain't right!
- [horn honks again]
- Norbit: I hear it.
- Rasputia: Uh huh, that scientifically proves that you adjusted my seat!
- Norbit: That's not science.
- Rasputia: It is and just let it go!
- Norbit: It's not science.
- Rasputia: I said 'let it go!'
- Norbit: I'm just saying...
- [Rasputia backhands him in the face]
- Rasputia: [growls] I said it was science, god damm it!
- [after harpooning Rasputia in the ass]
- Mr. Wong: Bingo! Right in the blowhole!
- [Rasputia runs away screaming with Floyd The Dog chasing her out of the town]
- [Norbit rides his bike towards the church when he's approached by Big Jack, Earl, and Rasputia]
- Rasputia: Where the hell you goin', Norbit?
- Norbit: [screams] None of your G.D. beeswax, Rasputia!
- Rasputia: Look at you, you old stupid fool. You can't even ride a bike!
- Norbit: Oh, yes I can, because Kate TAUGHT ME!
- [Rasputia screams and grabs Norbit's neck]
- Preacher: [resumes the ceremony] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...
- Norbit: I object!
- [congregation gasps and murmurs]
- Preacher: [frustrated] Oh, for Christ sake!
- Mr. Wong: [pleased] Norbit.
- Pope Sweet Jesus, Lord Have Mercy: [cheers] Norbit!
- Kate Thomas: [surprised] Norbit!
- Choir: [singing] Norbit-t-t-t!
- Norbit: This wedding's a sham and I'm here to stop it.
- Kate Thomas: Norbit, what are you doing?
- Norbit: I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you.
- Rasputia: [Rasputia, Big Jack, and Earl stormed into the church] What the hell did you just say?
- Norbit: You heard what I said, strumpet! I love Kate! That right. I love you, Kate. And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my entire miserable life with you, Rasputia! It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your BITCH!
- Rasputia: [singing along with the radio] Don't you wish your girlfriend was as hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was a FREAK like me?
- Mr. Wong: When Norbit was little boy he say "One day i'll have the girl of my dream" and then you and marry a gorilla!
- [Latimore brothers get up]
- Mr. Wong: I joke, I joke, why you not know joke when you hear joke, what you want to make fight at wedding.
- [to himself]
- Mr. Wong: better cool off before i have to bust somebody ass in here