Katt Williams credited as playing...
Lord Have Mercy
- Rasputia: [laughs when Kate doesn't believe Norbit's story on Deion, a corrupt goldigger/cheater] Well, well, Norbit. You lose again! Once a loser, always a loser. Now, come on! Let's go!
- Norbit: [to Kate] Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. And that's why I took the liberty of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down so maybe they can tell you for themselves. LADIES!
- [Deion is shocked and frightened to see his three exes and their children walk in the church]
- Ex-Wife #1: Hello, Antoine! I've been looking everywhere for you.
- Children: Daddy!
- Ex-Wife #2: Antoine? He told me his name was Luther!
- Rasputia: Who is that ho?
- Ex-Wife #3: Luther? he told me he was gay!
- Deion Hughes: No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther.
- Ex-Wife #1: [angry] You dead, goldigger!
- Deion Hughes: [the wives and children are going towards him] I'm out!
- Pope Sweet Jesus: Look's like the wedding's off, bro.
- Lord Have Mercy: Church!
- Pope Sweet Jesus: It's raining little white women.
- Lord Have Mercy: My prayers have been answered!
- Pope Sweet Jesus: She'd better move, 'cause my prayers are for a Cadillac.
- Preacher: [resumes the ceremony] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...
- Norbit: I object!
- [congregation gasps and murmurs]
- Preacher: [frustrated] Oh, for Christ sake!
- Mr. Wong: [pleased] Norbit.
- Pope Sweet Jesus, Lord Have Mercy: [cheers] Norbit!
- Kate Thomas: [surprised] Norbit!
- Choir: [singing] Norbit-t-t-t!
- Norbit: This wedding's a sham and I'm here to stop it.
- Kate Thomas: Norbit, what are you doing?
- Norbit: I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you.
- Rasputia: [Rasputia, Big Jack, and Earl stormed into the church] What the hell did you just say?
- Norbit: You heard what I said, strumpet! I love Kate! That right. I love you, Kate. And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my entire miserable life with you, Rasputia! It's over! Norbit Albert Rice is no longer your BITCH!
- Pope Sweet Jesus: Poor Norbit. Man. Back when I was in the game, used to tell my hos, "Hos, ain't no man gonna pay for the cow if he can get the milk for free." You ain't gonna worry about this brother buying the milk, 'cause he just bought the whole damn cow.
- Lord Have Mercy: That's a special cow, too. That must be where butter milk come from.
- Pope Sweet Jesus: ...Now speakin of ribs, and pleasure...
- Lord Have Mercy: Uh, yes, for a limited time only, we are proud to present to you our barbequed, baby back, horseradish, mustard, and peanut butter encrusted ribs with a slight Jagermeister infusion, sprinkled with chammomile leaves, with a horseradish and dandelion salad, on a bed of rice. Buy one Pimp Platter, get the whole bones free.
- Deion Hughes: Ah, ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no, no! That's enough talking. It's time to get back to the wedding.
- Pope Sweet Jesus: It ain't never enough talkin' when you're talkin' about love, brother.