My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade

I was looking for a children's movie to watch with my 4 year old daughter, had no expectations whatsoever. It simply blew me away. The characters were captivating and the story compact, touching and sweet. I am not ashamed to say I loved this movie. This is the kind of show that should be in television in place of the overtly violent, grim-dark series they usually show. If this movie ever got to the silver screen I wouldn't hesitate to go see it again and again, with or without my daughter.

To all parents looking for light hearted and emotional adventure to share with your children, this is it.

In my life, Pre-Princess Promenade, I was a mess. A miserable buffoon who walked around spouting racist vulgarities, shoplifting from The Goodwill and punching random toddlers in the face. My life was empty and in desperate need of something to provide fulfillment. I was on the verge of suicide when an amazing thing happened. This movie came on and I immediately felt a surge of life shoot through my veins! I had finally found that missing piece and my life felt complete!

I took the razor away from my wrist and ran out onto the street where I began hugging everyone I could find. I grabbed an old lady and after she stopped screaming, I hugged her tight and whispered "You are special and I love you." I was overcome with a brand new positive attitude!

When the cops came I gave each of them a big kiss on the cheek and told them I understood why my face was being held to the hood of the car and that they were both really good at their job. Life had new meaning!

That night in jail I walked up to a group of ruffians and sat down. I told them their game of spades would have to wait, for I had something amazing to share with them. I told them all about this wonderful little movie called "My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade" and how it had really changed my life. I don't think many of them were quite ready for my message of hope, but I believe that I touched some hearts that night. Later on I let everybody know that I was not upset and that I thought my two new black eyes really complimented the color of my face. I was now literally seeing the world through a brand new pair of eyes!

Well, needless to say, this film affected me very deeply. It is a powerful story about what it means to really be alive. It is, without a doubt, the single greatest achievement in cinematic history and is comparable to "Citizen Kane" and "The Godfather". It will continue to change lives and live forever in the hearts and minds of those who it has already touched.

A very heartfelt thank you goes out to the amazing filmmakers! You, my friends, should be seriously considered for a Nobel Peace prize, for I believe that a few more movies of this caliber could bring an end to hunger, poverty and war. Thank you!

There's a certain measure of beauty striven for by artists in this world, a dream of absolute aesthetic perfection heretofore thought unreachable by the flawed hand of humanity. This dream has just become reality. My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade has opened a doorway to a realm of staggering beauty, one that can't be explained away with simple words. To watch this film is an experience like no other. To quaff the heady brew of its majesty is to wrap yourself in a blanket of enlightenment. You don't just see its purity, you taste it. It fills you. I am not a religious man, but this film is as close to God as one can come in this wretched world of ours.

Any attempt at analysis of how the film achieves what it does is meaningless. One can certainly break it down into its component parts, though this yields more questions than answers. (1) A narrative of staggering force and clarity. (2) Simple yet elegant camera-work, comparable to the masterworks of Ozu, yet leagues beyond even his understated beauty. (3) A swirling palette of colors, always moving yet never extravagant. (4) A troupe of actors who will accept nothing less than to become these noble beasts, to cast off the shackles of their own human identities and, through their words, conjure a kind of concentrated beauty from the very aether around them. Yet this is nothing more than a simplification--a reduction of what is by definition vast and unknowable to a straightforward list of observable attributes. MLP:TPP is so much more than the sum of its parts, and must be felt to be believed.

That this film hasn't received more critical attention is a monumental tragedy. Though perhaps... perhaps the real tragedy is within ourselves. It may be that we are simply not ready to open our hearts, let the scales fall from our eyes, and embrace the only true beauty that really exists in this world: My Little Pony.

Words cannot begin to convey how truly miraculous this movie is. Despite being a published author, anything I could possibly write would ultimately prove clumsy, insufficient and defamatory to this untainted 50 minutes of sheer genius. Never in all my years did I think I might come across a work of art so awe-inspiring that praise itself would become insulting; but I thank God that I have. Embark on a journey with some of the most convoluted and interesting characters the movie, nay the entire fiction industry has provided. People have been searching for the meaning of life since the dawn of Humanity, I daresay this movie provides just about the closest thing to an answer any of us could ever hope for. All I can say is that My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade will, in every sense of the word, astound generations to come – and that too sounds feebly slanderous.

In my eighteen years on this earth, I have been able to see many movies, some of them great, some of them terrible. Only one of them, however, has been able to move me to tears of exultation and utter, boundless joy. That movie, my friends, is My Little Pony: The Princess Promenade. The My Little Pony series has always been known for its cutting-edge approach to film-making as it tackles tough issues and offers a refreshing commentary on surprisingly deep subject matter. Princess Promenade goes even further than its wonderful predecessors. This movie is the second coming of Christ. It is an orgasm for the senses. It is the word "perfect," transformed into an animated, watchable form. It is love itself. It is like an evolved form of oxygen that is so much fresher than a typical breath of fresh air. If you don't see this movie, you have never experienced life or seen color or felt a single genuine, worthwhile emotion. Life begins and ends with my pony friends at the peerless Princess Promenade.