Carmilla, the Lesbian Vampire

In this strangely-lackadaisical apocalypse, the world suffers from a dual plague of zombies and vampires, but no one seems to be too worried about it in this Grade-Z film which bares less resemblance to Sheridan Le Fanu's famous short novel than my mother's lasagna recipe. Bored attendants still run gas stations and doctors still make house calls and helpful police officers still show up with radiator fluid just when you need it. The plot, and I use that term loosely, involves a father and a daughter trying to rendevous with "the general," whose daughter is missing, at a church to kill a vampire who, very conveniently, happens to be traveling with the father and daughter. I must confess that a moment or two of genuine humor can be found between vast stretches of unintentional humor. The film also boasts just enough nudity to keep a boy of fourteen interested. Anyone older beware.

The above seemed a much more appropriate title when me and my suicidal underlings decided to watch this masterpiece of modern bullshit.

Erotic, scary, suspenseful, well thought out, these are all the things this film fails to be.

It is however incredibly funny. The slow sound effects and bad dubbing add to this to make one of the greatest comedies I have seen in recent years. And yet this film doesn't even offer and attempt at humor and that is one of the movies grand achievements, it becomes a comedy without even trying to amuse.

Throughout the film, an old guy who looks amazingly like Santa Claus goes around ploughing over zombies and smashing vampires into the ground. This made me fail to believe the films title, if this was vampires vs zombies why were vampires and zombies not fighting? Oh well, whatever, besides there were more flaws to this rental than the title.

Such as this one; there has been a virus sweeping through America creating zombie like beings who go around acting a lot like your average tourist. However there are only four zombies in the entire film. Another problem is besides one shop the entire set is deserted. Surely you'd see zombies roaming about in the woods or in the background a bit? It honestly seemed like they just drove around in a circle of forest over and over again since they didn't have a high enough budget to film in a wider location. It was that or the director didn't want to waste his precious time filming in different areas of wood. He was to busy sitting in a trailer jerking off to be bothered with such trivial matters.

Seemingly the director had so much fun doing this that he didn't have enough time to hire a big enough cast or even an editor. And so he told the eight members of the cast to dress up as different people and try not to act inconspicuous, whilst I assume he changed his name and began randomly snipping at the film reels "editing isn't a hard job anyway right?" The only reason this "movie" found it's way into our bag was because somehow we got it confused with Freddy vs Jason, strange how these things happen isn't it? And the only way we made it though the night was by strapping gas masks on and bolting them to our skulls to avoid the stink of this nauseating mess.

Oh yes we did laugh at the end, but I'm sure one does that a lot when he has lost his sanity...................

This was quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. I watched it with a large group of friends and after it was over not a one of us understood the plot. Aside from the lack of plot, the acting was atrocious, the "special effects" were not so special, and the writing was absolutely horrible. The movie's only redeeming factor is that it's so incredibly bad that it's quite funny. You can't help but laugh at a zombie being run over while actors are spewing crappy dialogue. I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone looking for a good movie, but it's something that a group of friends can get together and have a good laugh about. It's now a running joke among my friends and I. 1 out of 10.

Yes, this movie is bad. What's worse is that it takes no advantage whatsoever of its own title!! In the ENTIRE movie, zombies and vampires fight each other ONCE OR TWICE. On top of that, we're never really sure if the main character in the movie is DEFINITELY a vampire. One might argue they were trying to "tone it down" or make it "realistic," but it ends up just boring. More than half of this movie takes place IN A CAR. The scenes that take place anywhere else aren't much to brag about, either. Also, there's no clear antagonist, and in the end you have no idea what really happened for the last 30 minutes of the movie.

However, I will say that for a film this low in production value, the soundtrack was surprisingly appropriate and instrumented (with either an origonal score or sampled music from elsewhere).

I'm all for independent films, but it doesn't look like this was ever intended for a mass audience (if any).

"worse than Scarecrow slayer."

I'm pretty sure when I watched this movie, the only way I could get through it was to assure myself that later, after seeing it, a very long shower and an eye scrub would purge my body of the sin that is seeing "Vampires VS Zombies."

Honestly, I'm pretty sure this is the worst movie ever. While watching it, I had to pause every few moments to keep my brain from exploding. The scenes did not at all move together, and it was in no way comprehensible. It seemed that the best the director did was build up to something during every scene, but that "something" was never there.

While some people say for a bad movie that the best part is the end, I would have to disagree for this one. I waited an entire 85 minutes for some sort of rejuvenation from this movie, but was only greeted by a spinning book displaying the words, "THE END." The movie's acting was like something out of a terrible video game's voice acting, and the plot I'm pretty sure didn't exist. I was glad to see that the creators could let themselves go so easily, but this doesn't even go on the list of B-movies.

I suspect that there is a secret companion film to this abomination which consists of all the "other" scenes that would, coupled with many of the scenes in this movie, form a complete porno-film. Have you actually seen a movie that made your head physically hurt? This one did.

I'm sorry, but don't ever, EVER, EVER watch Vampires vs. Zombies. Not even as a way to pass time or laugh at how bad it is. It's nearly impossible to get through.