Amy Poehler credited as playing...
Snow White
- Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!
- [Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space]
- Princess Fiona: What are you doing?
- Sleeping Beauty: [Snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued.
- [falls back asleep]
- Cinderella: [after hearing the Puss and Donkey speak after changing bodies] I don't get it.
- Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get?
- Snow White: I'm sorry but this isn't working for me.
- Sleeping Beauty: It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
- Snow White: You're just jealous that I was voted fairest in the land.
- Rapunzel: Oh, you mean in that rigged election?
- Snow White: You're one to talk. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down thy golden extensions."
- Queen Lillian: Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together.
- Sleeping Beauty: Everything always about you, it's not like your additude is helping Snow.
- Snow White: Well maybe it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land.
- [at Fiona's baby shower, a group of birds gently place a flowered wreath on Fiona's head]
- Cinderella: Stunning.
- Snow White: Look at you.
- Rapunzel: Wow.
- Snow White: Look you darling.
- Sleeping Beauty: Just precious. Look at her.
- Rapunzel: So, have you had any cravings since you've been pregnant?
- Princess Fiona: [with her mouth full of cake] No, not at all.
- [sniffs]
- Princess Fiona: Do you smell ham?
- Snow White: So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly in this stinkhole until we rot.
- Princess Fiona: No, we're gonna get inside and find out what Charming's up to.
- Princess Fiona: [turns to Snow White's present] Who's this one from?
- Snow White: I got you the biggest one because I love you the most.
- Princess Fiona: [reads the card] "Have one on me. Love, Snow White."
- [she pulls the string, opening the box to reveal a dwarf]
- Princess Fiona: "Um, what is it?
- Snow White: [laughs] He's a live-in babysitter.
- Nanny Dwarf: Where's the baby?
- Princess Fiona: You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this.
- Snow White: Think nothing of it. I've got six more at home.
- Princess Fiona: What does he do?
- Cinderella: The cleaning.
- Snow White: The feeding.
- Nanny Dwarf: The burping.
- Princess Fiona: What are Shrek and I supposed to do?
- Rapunzel: Well, now you'll have plenty of time to work on your marriage.
- Princess Fiona: Gee, thanks Rapunzel, and what's that suppose to mean?
- Rapunzel: Oh, come on now, Fiona. You know what happens.
- [Cinderella prods Sleeping Beauty]
- Sleeping Beauty: [wakes up] Huh? You're tired all the time.
- Snow White: You'll start letting yourself go.
- Gingy: Stretch marks.
- Rapunzel: Say goodbye to romance.
- [Dragon nods in agreement]
- Princess Fiona: Um sorry... but how many of you have kids?
- Doris: She's right. A baby is only gonna strengthen the love that Shrek and Fiona have. How did Shrek react when you told him? Tell me!
- Princess Fiona: Well, when he first found out, Shrek said...
- [get interrupted when Dragon alerts them]
- Snow White: [pacing back and forth] Have we had just stayed put like I suggested, we could be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups...
- Cinderella: [scrubbing the floor] Yeah... yeah, heart-shaped cups.
- Snow White: And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries.
- Cinderella: Yeah... loganberries.
- Snow White: [stops pacing] Shut up, Cindy.
- Cinderella: Yeah, shut up.
- Cinderella's Reflection: No, *you* shut up.
- Cinderella: Just stay out of this.
- Snow White: Who cares who's "running the kingdom" anyway?
- Princess Fiona: *I* care.
- Queen Lillian: And you all should care, too.