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The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)

Tom Papa: El Superbeasto

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Tom Papa credited as playing...

El Superbeasto

Photos5

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Quotes9

  • El Superbeasto: Holy monkey! That wasn't in the script!
  • El Superbeasto: You picked the wrong guy on the wrong night. I just lost another goddamn pilot to that punk from "Malcolm in the Middle"!
  • Suzi X: Wake up, Beasto! You're earth's only hope!
  • El Superbeasto: Caramels are chewy.
  • Suzi X: What's up, bro? What's the dealio, yo?
  • El Superbeasto: I need your help with a little problem. I mean, it's barely even that, really. Let's call it a situation.
  • Suzi X: Beasto, man, don't waste my time. Is this about pussy?
  • El Superbeasto: No.
  • Suzi X: Poontang
  • El Superbeasto: Nada.
  • Suzi X: Tool shed?
  • El Superbeasto: Nein.
  • Suzi X: Cockpit?
  • El Superbeasto: Nope.
  • Suzi X: Love box?
  • El Superbeasto: Negative.
  • Suzi X: Fur patch?
  • El Superbeasto: No.
  • Suzi X: Bearded clam? Nipsey Russell? Fish patty? Panty hamster? Vertical bacon sandwich?
  • El Superbeasto: No ma'am.
  • Suzi X: Okay I'll help.
  • El Superbeasto: You didn't say "bat cave".
  • El Superbeasto: Take your stinking paws off her, you damn dirty ape!
  • Otto: Now that's a little derivative, don't you think?
  • El Superbeasto: I bet if I save Velvet from that screwy ape she'll love me long time. But my order of hot wings is almost up, and I do love the hot wings.
  • El Superbeasto: [Holds up the jar with the head of Hitler in it] Hey, I recognize this dude. He's the Little Tramp! He's hysterical. He's taller than I thought.
  • El Superbeasto: [Can't decide if he should save Velvet or wait for his hot wings] Oh, but she does have an amazing ass. And those jumbo jiggly-wigglies! The only thing that comes close is the bleu cheese they give you with the wings. You see, the wings are spicy, and the bleu cheese cools them off just so.
  • El Superbeasto: Dr. Satan will shrink back to normal size if he squashes his unholy bride with the heel of his cloven hoof under a crescent moon. As an albino Barry Manilow lookalike warbles through "Copacabana" under a shower of rainbow sparkles while a disgustingly cute kitten screams a Moroccan death chant. Great, now where are we gonna find a kitten like that?

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