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Catscratch (2005)

Wayne Knight: Mr. Blik • Blik Robot • Chicken Harold • ...

Catscratch

Wayne Knight credited as playing...

Mr. Blik • Blik Robot • Chicken Harold • Donkey • Granny

Quotes25

  • Mr. Blick: I have an idea!
  • Waffle: I have an idea, too!
  • Mr. Blick: What's your idea?
  • Waffle: To listen to your idea!
  • Mr. Blick: The Kraken ate my tail!
  • Gordon: I'm attempting to train bacon to walk. Imagine it, Blik: a world where bacon could walk straight into your mouth.
  • Waffle: Hello, Mr. Blik!
  • Mr. Blik: [jumps in surprise] Waffle! Where were you? I was sopping wet.
  • Gordon: And after you've finished with Blik, I need you to wash the pants I made for my bacon.
  • Mr. Blik: Mission Control, set up at the park for the cookoff. The catstronauts will meet you there.
  • Hovis: Oh... you're coming back?
  • Mr. Blik: [to Katilda] Who are you, She-Cat? You, who fell into my arms with nary a clue. Be you angel? Princess?
  • Gordon: Long-haul trucker?
  • Mr. Blick: Look!
  • Waffle: [gasps] A finger!
  • Mr. Blick: Hovis! My important hat!
  • Hovis: And what hat would that be, sir?
  • Mr. Blick: The one that lets everyone know what I am!
  • [gives him a beanie with spinning top]
  • Mr. Blick: Soon enough I will fulfill my dream of going to China. Land of the geisha.
  • Waffle: That's Japan.
  • Mr. Blick: Land of miso soup.
  • Waffle: That's Japan.
  • Mr. Blick: Land of cherry trees.
  • Waffle: That's still Japan.
  • Mr. Blick: Ah, China.
  • Mr. Blick: It's not always about winning, Waffle. It's about beating the other losers!
  • Mr. Blick: [to Chumpy Chums, sweetly at first] Chumpy Chums, neighbors, let's see, we worked hard, played fair, and we *creamed* you! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Zinga!
  • [he begins to roll on the ground and pull on his tongue so that the rest of his body parts sink into his body]
  • Mr. Blick: Whoa! Whoa! Where do you think you're going, dipmaster?
  • Giant Squid: Gordon Quid, you have defeated me in battle. therefore, as per the rules of the sea, I am obligated to grant you one wish.
  • Gordon: Mighty Kraken, I wish for a new tail!
  • Giant Squid: So be it.
  • Gordon: Wait! I wish for a new tail for my brother... Mr. Blik.
  • Mr. Blick: Gordon, are you sure about this?
  • Gordon: Take it, Blik. I realize now I don't need a big bushy tail to prove I'm a whole cat.
  • Mr. Blick: I don't know what to say except...
  • [he points to his behind]
  • Mr. Blick: Right there, baby! Zap away!
  • [he gets zapped and gets his tail back]
  • Mr. Blick: Ohh, did you miss me?
  • Giant Squid: You are a brave opponent, Gordon Quid. Maybe someday, we will meet again in battle. Until then, heigh-ho, Kraken!
  • [he floats up to the sky]
  • Gordon: Heigh-ho, Kraken!
  • Mr. Blick: Remember this historic moment, boys, 'cause we're going to the moon!
  • Waffle: Woo-hoo! Zero-G basketball! Pop a wheelie!
  • Hovis: Have fun, boys.
  • Mr. Blick: Hovis, from now on, you shall refer to us as catstronauts.
  • Hovis: That sounds painful.
  • Mr. Blick: [pulling on the service bell] Hovis! Someone answer the bell! Hovis!
  • [Hovis falls on Mr. Blik from above]
  • Mr. Blick: Hovis, where were you?
  • Hovis: Fixing the bell.
  • Gordon: Now what's the moral of this story?
  • Mr. Blick: To get rocks from the moon so I can win the cook-off!
  • Waffle: I thought it was never trust a seal lady.
  • Mr. Blik: How did this happen?
  • Gordon: Well, it wasn't us, Blik. I was preparin' the food, and Waffle was making dip.
  • Waffle: Right. Green cookbook, blue room.
  • Gordon: Right.
  • [pause]
  • Gordon: Laddie, I said *blue* cookbook, *green* room. Green cookbook, blue room is... *The Scottish Book of the Dead!*
  • Waffle: Oh. That explains the long and mysterious incantation with sour cream.
  • Gordon: [reminiscing about Mrs. Cramdilly] Do you remember when she found us, curled up with our ma in the laundry hamper?
  • Mrs. Cramdilly: [in a flashback] My, look at you, so brave and proud!
  • Gordon: That was the day *I* became her favorite.
  • Mr. Blik: *You?* Her favorite? Hah! *I* was the favorite. It was me.
  • Waffle: Nuh-uh. I was. She let me sleep on her head!
  • Mr. Blick: [the two are dressed as a unicorn, and Waffle is dropping eggs] What are you doing?
  • Waffle: I'm laying eggs. It's so we can find our way back!
  • Mr. Blick: Unicorns don't lay eggs!
  • Waffle: Oh, yeah? And how do *you* know?
  • Mr. Blick: Because *I'm* in the head. It's where the brains are. Now come on!
  • [Mr. Blick pulls on the ship's wheel and Waffle pulls on the other end]
  • Waffle: I'm not leaving without Gordon! It's my ship too!
  • Mr. Blick: Well, I'm taking control of it; it's called Mutiny!
  • Waffle: Well, if you can mutiny, so can I. I mutiny, mutiny!
  • Mr. Blick: Then I mutiny, mutiny, mutiny!
  • Waffle: Then I mutiny, mutiny, mutiny, mutiny!
  • [both continue to shout "mutiny" over and over]
  • [the race has begun and Waffle idles at the starting line]
  • Mr. Blick: Go, Waffle, go!
  • Gordon: Waffle!
  • Waffle: Gotta be safe with my little newt buddy on board.
  • Mr. Blick: Go, go go! Waffle, come on!
  • Gordon: Forget the newt!
  • Waffle: Safety first for my little newty newt newt.

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