Sally Bretton credited as playing...
Kim Alabaster
- Kim Alabaster: Erm, you do know that your goldfish is dead?
- Joanna Clore: Yes, I know it's dead, it's supposed to be dead, I bought it dead! That way I can look at it and say "You're dead and I'm not, you stupid fish!"
- Kim Alabaster: He's not worth it, Karen.
- Karen Ball: [crying over Martin chasing Carol] He is!
- Kim Alabaster: He's not.
- Karen Ball: Yes he is!
- Kim Alabaster: He's got pink trousers on, Karen!
- Karen Ball: I like them!
- Karen Ball: [online game] I don't want to be in Slytherin!
- Naughty Rachel: You can't go back. The decision of the Sorting Hat is always final!
- Karen Ball: [runs off crying]
- Kim Alabaster: [starts after her]
- Naughty Rachel: No! Careful! It might be a Slytherin trick...
- Kim Alabaster: Why are you hiding under your desk?
- Karen Ball: I thought I saw a Clanger!
- Kim Alabaster: [hides too]
- Naughty Rachel: Poop-poop poop poop poop!
- Harriet Schulenburg: I know I took a lot of pills to try and flush him out, but it doesn't mean I don't love him. He's just a bit blinky.
- Kim Alabaster: [points at calendar] Got the ******! He's with the babysitter! Right, ladies, let's get the **** out of here.
- Kim Alabaster: [Photocopier Competition] What? Ol' "Big Pants", there?
- Lyndon Jones: Well, you did ask me whose I liked best...
- Harriet Schulenburg: [Victory Dance]
- Boyce: [tequila slammers] If you're still standing after this one, I'll let you put your hand down my pants.
- Naughty Rachel: Oh, God!
- [They all drink and Rachel runs off to be sick]
- Kim Alabaster: Still standing...
- Joanna Clore: What's wrong with her?
- Kim Alabaster: Her iPod is on shuffle and Travis just came on.
- Joanna Clore: [Drops Rachel's iPod into a glass of water]
- Kim Alabaster: [yelling in the corridors] Hey, fucker!
- Boyce: Hi, Slag!
- Kim Alabaster: Why you walking like that, get lucky?
- Boyce: Yeah!
- Kim Alabaster: Anyone I should be worried about?
- Boyce: Just some Totty with Top Tits!
- [they meet up and snog]