Shalom Harlow credited as playing...
Paisley Porter
- Paisley Porter: I didn't understand until today how much pain and anxiety you've been causing everybody with your reviews. Steven, it's completely unfair.
- Steven Schwimmer: It's unfair?
- Paisley Porter: Yes.
- Steven Schwimmer: The truth is always unfair.
- Paisley Porter: Well, it doesn't have to be.
- Steven Schwimmer: Why do you think I live this way? Why do you think I'm, I'm taking electricity from the lamp-post
- [he gestures outdoors]
- Steven Schwimmer: and hiding out? Why?
- Paisley Porter: Because you choose to.
- Steven Schwimmer: No. Because people who write the truth are the outcasts of society. I can't live openly. I can't live in a nice door-man building, with my name on the mailbox, because they'd, they'd come after me in packs!
- Paisley Porter: Not if you wrote the truth gently.
- Steven Schwimmer: [in an upset tone] But the truth is never gentle.
- Paisley Porter: [describing theater critic Steven Schwimmer to Nicky:] Steven not only wears disguises. He goes to the theater armed.