Martin Freeman: Met Sergeant

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Met Sergeant

[first lines]
Narrator: Police Constable Nicholas Angel: born and schooled in London, graduated Canterbury University in 1993 with a double first in Politics and Sociology. Attended Hendon College of Police Training. Displayed great aptitude in field exercises, notably Urban Pacification and Riot Control. Academically excelled in theoretical course work and final year examinations. Received a Baton of Honour, graduated with distinction into the Metropolitan Police Service and quickly established an effectiveness and popularity within the community. Proceeded to improve skill base with courses in advanced driving... and advanced cycling. He became heavily involved in a number of extra-vocational activities and to this day, he holds the Met record for the hundred metre dash. In 2001, he began active duty with the renowned SO19 Armed Response Unit and received a Bravery Award for efforts in the resolution of Operation Crackdown. In the last twelve months, he has received nine special commendations, achieved highest arrest record for any officer in the Met and sustained three injuries in the line of duty, most recently in December when wounded by a man dressed as Father Christmas.

[after being told they are reassigning Angel, in the middle of his career, to a nice village which he originally planned for his retirement]
Nicholas Angel: I don't know what to say.
Metropolitan Police Inspector: [prompting Angel] Yes.
Sergeant: [prompting Angel] Yes, thank you.

Sergeant: Hello Nicholas.
Nicholas Angel: Hello Sergeant.
Sergeant: How's the hand?
Nicholas Angel: Still a bit stiff.
Sergeant: It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.
Nicholas Angel: I prefer to think my office is out on the street.
Sergeant: Indeed you do! Your arrest record is four hundred percent higher than any other officer, which is why it's high time that such... skills... were put to better use. We're making you sergeant.
Nicholas Angel: I see.
Sergeant: [mumbles]
Nicholas Angel: In where, sorry?
Sergeant: In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
Nicholas Angel: But that's in the country...
Sergeant: Yes! Lovely!
Nicholas Angel: Isn't there a sergeant's position here in London?
Sergeant: Oh, no.
Nicholas Angel: Can I remain here as a PC?
Sergeant: No.
Nicholas Angel: Do I have any choice in this?
Sergeant: No!
Nicholas Angel: Sergeant, I kinda like it here.
Sergeant: Well, you've always wanted a transfer to the country.
Nicholas Angel: In twenty years or so, yes.
Sergeant: Well done you.

Nicholas Angel: Chief Inspector...
Chief Inspector: Keep your seat. Now, I know what you're going to say, but the fact is, you've been making us all look bad!
Nicholas Angel: ...I'm sorry, Sir?
Chief Inspector: Of course we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.
Metropolitan Police Inspector: It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
Sergeant: You can't be the Sheriff of London.