Clu Gulager credited as playing...
Bartender
- Hero: Listen to me. A storm o'hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are, I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these fuckers are fast, nasty, and hungry... and there's four of 'em. They got claws like Ginsu knives and more teeth than a chainsaw. They're comin'... right now. So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windows, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it now. You! Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks ass, and get 'em out here. Any questions?
- Bartender: Yeah. Who the hell are you?
- Hero: I'm the guy that's gonna save your ass.
- [a monster immediately reaches through the window and kills him]
- Bartender: C'mon, I'll take you to your car.
- Honey Pie: [as Coach steps up beside Honey Pie at the bar] Not tonight. I have an escort.
- Bartender: That'll be eighteen bucks, pal.
- Bartender: [Coach opens wallet to pay, wedding ring falls out. Honey Pie shoves him to the ground and walks off. Re: tab] Guess I'll just keep this open.
- Bozo: YOU!
- Grandma: [Drunkenly] What?
- Bozo: You know somethin'!
- Grandma: Huh?
- Bozo: You're old! You've seen things!
- Grandma: I don't know a thing.
- Bartender: Easy there...
- Bozo: Back off me, whitey! I'm interrogating her.
- Bozo: Old people know things, like legends and tall tales and shit.
- Grandma: No... really... I don't...
- Bozo: Come on! Spill it! Or I'll get rough!
- Grandma: I don't know anything!
- [Points to Bartender]
- Grandma: Why don't you ask him? He's old!
- Heroine: Relax. She doesn't know anything.
- Bozo: Yeah... allegedly.