Popstar

The only people i would recommend this film to are both blind and deaf, although i'm sure a sadomasochist would get a kick out of it. This film had nothing; no acting, terrible music, awful script- only the power to suck any happiness from your soul. You may be wondering by now why or even how i managed to sit through the full hour and a half of sheer inanity, and it is honestly a difficult concept for even myself. Firstly, i had to pace up and down as the film progressed as i found it extremely hard to get comfortable. Secondly, i only made it without gnawing off my own arm in order to have something to beat myself to death with by phoning friends for moral support when the plot became particularly slow. The problem was it became a matter of pride for me to finish it after the opening thirty minutes, and that was a fatal error on my behalf. I normally like films to leave you with something by the end, but all this did was take..... For the sake of your sanity do not watch this film.

This film goes, without saying, in my list of films that need to be censored. This is why the Soviets monopolized the economy, to prevent garbage like this from showing up. I hope that they put this review on the 2027 APUSH DBQ regarding the different perspectives and opinions on American Culture in the early 2000s. I feel sorry for the APUSH students because that's worse than the 2015 AP European History DBQ about French national identity and culture in the 1960s. 99% of the 5s and about 79% of the ignorant masses would put this review in "The people who knew what they were talking about" grouping (we all know that by this time, the College Board will preassign groupings). The moral of this... hypothesis... is that American culture is threatened by this garbage. The American dream is in danger of this nightmare, and we need to purge this impurity from our culture before we raise a generation of patrons of this garbage.

What really stood out to me about this movie was how little the plot made sense. So many characters were randomly introduced, it was like how I imagine Tommy Wiseau's "THE ROOM" would be re-envisioned for the Disney Channel set. We had the wise elderly couple who kept on hanging out where "Jane" worked, telling the same story about how "soda" brought them together, or Jane's Mom/Stepmom/random crying woman who would all show up at random times.

Aaron Carter's acting is definitely the highlight of this film: I actually looked forward to every scene he appeared in. The editing is painfully bad, with scene cuts that make no sense. The "Jane" character is really irritating, mooning about and moping about "J.D. McQueen." The scenes with the "Music Awards" are more depressing than anything else. And the ending of this movie is surreal.

I rented this movie with my friend for a good laugh. We actually got laughed at by the clerk at the video store because of our questionable movie tastes. Unfortunately, I don't remember the first half of the movie because all I did was stare at the giant metal braces Jane wore. and I didn't hear anything either due to the incomprehensible lisp. The other thing that was able to grasp my attention besides her metal mouth was her questionable fashion sense. This movie was made in 2005 but it seems like the wardrobe people jumped all the way back to 2000 for the clothes. If you remember the days when Aaron Carter was considered a "popstar" and you like high waisted jeans, ankle socks and knee length skirts, then this little trip down memory lane is perfect for you.

How dumb is this movie, and the producer? He had Adrianne Palicki and Mary Elise Hayden in the movie, yet had his daughter play the lead! (Adrianne was mostly unknown at the time). It may have been his daughter's last movie role? There weren't many entries after it.