Popstar

This film goes, without saying, in my list of films that need to be censored. This is why the Soviets monopolized the economy, to prevent garbage like this from showing up. I hope that they put this review on the 2027 APUSH DBQ regarding the different perspectives and opinions on American Culture in the early 2000s. I feel sorry for the APUSH students because that's worse than the 2015 AP European History DBQ about French national identity and culture in the 1960s. 99% of the 5s and about 79% of the ignorant masses would put this review in "The people who knew what they were talking about" grouping (we all know that by this time, the College Board will preassign groupings). The moral of this... hypothesis... is that American culture is threatened by this garbage. The American dream is in danger of this nightmare, and we need to purge this impurity from our culture before we raise a generation of patrons of this garbage.

I rented this movie with my friend for a good laugh. We actually got laughed at by the clerk at the video store because of our questionable movie tastes. Unfortunately, I don't remember the first half of the movie because all I did was stare at the giant metal braces Jane wore. and I didn't hear anything either due to the incomprehensible lisp. The other thing that was able to grasp my attention besides her metal mouth was her questionable fashion sense. This movie was made in 2005 but it seems like the wardrobe people jumped all the way back to 2000 for the clothes. If you remember the days when Aaron Carter was considered a "popstar" and you like high waisted jeans, ankle socks and knee length skirts, then this little trip down memory lane is perfect for you.

Aaron Carter was rather popular when he was young. He had a hit single, girls really liked him and his older brother was in one of those boy bands. It looked like his career would never stop. Until it stopped because people realized he wasn't that good. As he grew older the cute kid demographic moved on and so did his career. So the next step was obvious, turn him into a teen heartthrob via movies.

Not a great plan as this is the only movie he ever headlined. It's about a popstar which you should have gotten from the title. He's going to go on tour this summer but he's failing math and his mother won't let him. In the real world I don't see this happening but they have to get him back to school somehow and so he must do better in math or else there's no summer tour for him.

Of course nobody knows who he is because he's wearing glasses. If it works for Clark Kent it's definitely going to work for him right? I mean it's not like he's the biggest popstar on the face of the planet and girls all over the place have his poster in their rooms or anything. Nah, glasses are fine.

Well high school shenanigans ensue. He winds up with a cute girl who's also his math tutor, she finds out who he really is, they fall in love, he passes math and the summer tour is a go. End credits.

Sure there's more that goes on but honestly who cares? Aaron Carter can't act and as far as I'm concerned can't sing either. There is literally no reason to see this other than if you're a masochist and love to watch bad movies.

What really stood out to me about this movie was how little the plot made sense. So many characters were randomly introduced, it was like how I imagine Tommy Wiseau's "THE ROOM" would be re-envisioned for the Disney Channel set. We had the wise elderly couple who kept on hanging out where "Jane" worked, telling the same story about how "soda" brought them together, or Jane's Mom/Stepmom/random crying woman who would all show up at random times.

Aaron Carter's acting is definitely the highlight of this film: I actually looked forward to every scene he appeared in. The editing is painfully bad, with scene cuts that make no sense. The "Jane" character is really irritating, mooning about and moping about "J.D. McQueen." The scenes with the "Music Awards" are more depressing than anything else. And the ending of this movie is surreal.

Worst.film.ever Nothing more needs to be said. Aaron Carter is utterly repellent and the rest of the cast should fire their agents immediately. It really is a terrible terrible movie from beginning to end. I wish I could be more eloquent in describing the movies many (oh so many) flaws however I cant be bothered/get too angry to form proper sentences.

In short I absolutely hated everything about this movie and not in "so bad its good" kinda way...

It was unadulterated drek.

Gavin