Ryan Hansen credited as playing...
Lance Landers
- [Rick, Aunt Lucille, Jill, Lou and Lance are sitting down for their Thanksgiving dinner]
- Lou Landers: [Lou looks at Rick's arm and sees a cut on it] What happened to your arm?
- Rick Riker: Uh... A bike messenger knocked me down.
- Rick Riker: I see your wrist is bandaged.
- Lou Landers: Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee.
- Lou Landers: And you have a cut on your lip.
- Rick Riker: Uh... My crack pipe broke.
- Rick Riker: You have a scratch on your neck.
- Lou Landers: Yes, I met a girl on Craig's List.
- Lou Landers: And you have a bruise on your neck.
- Rick Riker: I met a guy on Craig's List.
- Lou Landers: I'm sorry Lance, but we have to go.
- Lance Landers: Why?
- Lou Landers: I... shot my pants.
- [Everyone looks at Lou in total shock]
- Lance Landers: I'll drive.
- Lou Landers: What happened to your arm?
- Rick Riker: Oh. Um, a bike messenger knocked me down. I see your wrist is bandaged.
- Lou Landers: Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee, and you have a cut on your lip.
- Rick Riker: Um... my crack pipe broke. You have a scratch on your neck.
- Lou Landers: Yes, I, um... met a girl on Craigslist. And you have a bruise on *your* neck.
- Rick Riker: I... met a *guy* on Craigslist.
- Lou Landers: Sorry, Lance. We have to go.
- Lance Landers: Why?
- Lou Landers: I... shat my pants.
- Lance Landers: I'll drive.