Sarah Jessica Parker credited as playing...
Paula
- Tripp: Do you have real feelings?
- Paula: Of course I have real feelings!
- Tripp: For what?
- Paula: For you! And believe me, I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well, it... it was empty, actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Whereas now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.
- Paula: I'm Paula.
- Tripp: I'm Tripp.
- Paula: You know, usually I don't sleep with someone on the first date.
- Tripp: I don't think this counts as a first date.
- Paula: It would be a date if you asked me to have a drink tonight.
- Tripp: Mmm. You wanna have a drink tonight?
- Paula: Mmm. Can't. How about lunch tomorrow?
- Tripp: Sure. Wait. Tomorrow's Saturday.
- Paula: [perplexed] Sometimes I eat on Saturday.
- Tripp: All right, assuming that pretending to own a yacht was a brilliant, romantic yet ultimately flawed idea, how do you see the rest of the day playing out?
- Paula: I don't know. I'm so hungry, I can't think. Seagulls ate my lunch.
- Tripp: What if I took you to a restaurant?
- Paula: Are you gonna pretend to own it?
- Tripp: No. All the restaurants I own are in Europe.
- Paula: [of "her" supposedly dying dog] What's his real name, anyway?
- Veterinarian: I don't know. I just clean their teeth and chop their balls off.
- [the dog whimpers]
- Kit: [inquiring after Tripp's buddies] The tall one's kinda cute. What's he do?
- Paula: Oh, he's some kind of software writer. He works out of his basement, but he makes a lot of money. Oh, you know what? No, that's the little guy. The tall one just got fired from Kinko's.
- Kit: [mockingly] How will I choose?
- Paula: Look, many young men who should be able to move out simply can't. It's called "failure to launch," and that's where I come in. Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship, so I simulate one: We have a memorable meeting, we get to know each other over a few casual meals, he helps me through an emotional crisis, then I meet his friends - if he has any - uh, then I let him teach me something; but, the bottom line is, he bonds with me, he lets go of you, he moves out.
- Al: But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you?
- Paula: You look nice, you find out what they like, and then you pretend to like it, too.
- Sue: That is pretty much how it works.
- Al: What about sex?
- Paula: Al, I never have sex with a client. Besides, I need to keep Tripp motivated, and let's face it, after men have sex...
- Sue: Is there anything that we need to do?
- Paula: Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him. You know, uh, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing.
- Sue: I just think you should know that Tripp has had some rough breaks.
- Paula: I promise you, when this is over, Tripp is going to be an independant, self-sufficient adult.
- Paula: Come on, Tripp. Please, you... you don't understand.
- Tripp: You're right. Now, hold on. I don't know what your daily rate is, but that's everything I've got in my wallet.
- [handing over $300 to Paula]
- Tripp: There's three hundred dollars.
- Paula: Oh, come on, Tripp!
- Tripp: It should be good for tonight, especially since we didn't have sex.
- Paula: Please, Tripp, let me just explain to you.
- Tripp: Get the fuck outta my car.
- Kit: [finding out that Paula has set her up with Ace] No.
- Paula: It's just coffee. You don't have to marry him.
- Kit: First of all, that's the geeky computer guy. It's bad enough I have to go out with a loser who still lives with his mom, but you led me to believe that it was the handsome minimum-wage slacker.
- Paula: No, I don't... I don't think that I did that.
- Tripp: So what do we do now?
- Paula: Actually, it's... it's quite simple. You just have to decide. Do you want to spend the rest of your life having fun or do you want to spend it with me?
- Tripp: Hmm...
- Paula: Shut up! Not everything you say is perfect.
- Tripp: We can have a LITTLE bit of fun, can't we? Huh?