Bradley Cooper credited as playing...
Demo
- Demo: [to Tripp] You were bitten by a chuckwalla. That shouldn't have happened. It's a reptile of peace. I have a theory. This isn't the first time that nature's lashed out at you like this. I believe it's because your life is fundamentally at odds with the natural world.
- Tripp: Huh?
- Demo: Therefore, nature rejects you.
- Tripp: Dude, did you just drop me from a forty-foot cliff? I mean, you want to talk about a friend, man. You went behind my back and blackmailed your way into getting your girlfriend.
- Demo: He's right.
- Ace: I'm sorry I dropped you from a cliff.
- Tripp: It's okay.
- Demo: Granted, he used you, but not out of malice. Look at him. How many chances is he gonna get? He saw a chance for love, Tripp, and he took it, which is exactly what we wanted for you.
- Tripp: Am I getting advice from my two loser buddies who still live at home?
- Ace: Actually, I own my home.
- Demo: What?
- Tripp: No, you don't.
- Ace: I bought it a couple of years ago from my Mom. That way, she has a place to live and I don't get nailed on the inheritance tax.
- Demo: Smart.
- Tripp: Wow.
- Ace: And Demo, here, has chosen the life of a wanderer. I mean, sure, he technically still lives at home.
- Demo: Yeah.
- Ace: But his permanent address is in his heart. He's a bum.
- Demo: I think what we're trying to say is that the two of us are happy, and we're perfectly functional.
- Ace: And you, Tripp, are not.
- Demo: I feel a little bit bad because I kind of implied to Paula that I wouldn't say anything, but deception's a poison. It's like margarine - I can't have that in my body.
- Tripp: I do sleep well at night.
- Ace: On a twin bed, with Superman sheets that you've had since you were six.
- Demo: As opposed to you, who sleeps in a King-sized bed in your mother's basement.
- Ace: It's orthopedic, and I need it. And at least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.
- Demo: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth! And one truth I've learned - a child is a parent's greatest joy, which is why I can't leave my parents' place, because... because they would miss me!
- Demo: And yet, in America, we're-we're shunned for our lifestyle.
- Tripp: When we should be celebrating our lifestyle. We are men who still live at home.
- Demo: Yes.
- Tripp: We're not here to apologize about who we are, how we do it, or who we live with.
- Demo: No!
- Tripp: I'm looking around this table, hombres, and I see three winners, huh? And to every one of those out there who sees something different, I say "bring it on," 'cause it's gonna take a stick of dynamite to get me out of my parents' house.
- Tripp: [trying to feed a chipmunk a chocolate bar] You want a treat from the big city, boy?
- Demo: He's not a child, Tripp. Look how peaceful he is.
- Tripp: Come here, little boy. You want a little bit of chocolate, baby-boo-boo?
- Demo: You're giving him a Power Bar?
- Tripp: Everybody loves chocolate. Baby-boo-boo?
- Demo: Tripp, he's saying no.
- Tripp: Look into my eyes.
- Demo: He's saying no, Tripp.
- Tripp: Baby-boo-boo?
- [chipmunk bites Tripp's hand]
- Tripp: Aaow!
- Tripp: It's over. She gotta go.
- Ace: You're dumping Paula?
- Demo: What happened?
- Tripp: Same thing that always happens. Everything is going along nice and smooth, we're having a good time, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere - whoap! - she gets serious. I hate to say it, boys, but it is time to take the girl home.