Michelle Pfeiffer credited as playing...
Velma Von Tussle
- Velma Von Tussle: [after "New Girl in Town"] How dare you pick the same song!
- Motormouth Maybelle: They wrote it.
- Velma Von Tussle: [singing] Those poor runner-ups/Might still hold some grudges/They padded their 'cups'/But I screwed the judges.
- Velma Von Tussle: They're just kids, that's why we have to steer them in the white direction.
- Corny Collins: [pause] RIGHT direction?
- Velma Von Tussle: Isn't that what I said?
- Link Larkin: [presents Amber with a ring] It's time.
- Amber Von Tussle: Oh!
- [Amber and Link kiss]
- Velma Von Tussle: Amber! Save your personal life for the camera, sweetie! Oop, shiny!
- [sends Amber off to makeup for more powder]
- Amber Von Tussle: I lost, Mom. Let's just deal with it!
- Velma Von Tussle: [as she pulls the tallies out of her dress] You did not lose! You can not have lost because I switched the damn tallies!
- Edna Turnblad: [standing behind a live television camera] Smile, Miss Crabcakes! You're on Candid Camera!
- Wilbur Turnblad: That was a good shot! Don't you think?
- Corny Collins: Tell me, Velma, how exactly do you fire Corny Collins from the Corny Collins show?
- [walks away]
- Velma Von Tussle: [starts to speak and then pauses, frustrated] They do it all the time on "Lassie"!
- Police Chief: [while on the lookout for Tracy] I doubt she'll risk jail to win some beauty pageant.
- Velma Von Tussle: [to herself] I risked communicable diseases. She'll certainly risk jail.
- Velma Von Tussle: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and you would remain completely obtuse!
- Wilbur Turnblad: Obtuse?
- Velma Von Tussle: Yes, obtuse!
- Wilbur Turnblad: I flunked geometry...
- Velma Von Tussle: ...yes, and biology too, no doubt!
- [singing]
- Tammy: Are you scared we're on live?
- Tracy Turnblad: No, I'm sure I can cope.
- Amber Von Tussle: Well, this show isn't broadcast in...
- Tammy, Amber Von Tussle, Shelley, Noreen, Doreen, Vicki, Darla, Becky: [with the other council girls] Cinemascope!
- Velma Von Tussle: I never drank one chocolate malt. No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs.
- Velma Von Tussle: [singing to Wilbur] You're gonna need more than some seltzer to put out this fire.
- Velma Von Tussle: [disgusted] Oh!
- [forces a smile]
- Velma Von Tussle: Mrs. Turnblad! I'd know whose mother you were ANYWHERE.
- [notices Edna's outfit]
- Velma Von Tussle: Oh, let me guess - new dress?
- Edna Turnblad: [nods, shyly but proudly]
- Velma Von Tussle: Well... you'll stop traffic!
- [laughs]
- Edna Turnblad: [looks away, crushed]
- Velma Von Tussle: It was nice meeting you... Tracy.
- [struts away with Amber, as Edna starts crying]
- Tracy Turnblad: Mama, don't you DARE listen to a word she says!
- [Edna appears not to hear her]
- Tracy Turnblad: Come on! She's just worried that I'm going to win the Miss Teenage Hairspray contest!
- Edna Turnblad: [stops crying immediately and looks at Tracy, impressed] ... Really?
- [from trailer]
- Velma Von Tussle: [to Edna, about Tracy] Tracy certainly has redefined our standards
- [chuckles]
- Amber Von Tussle: That's for sure.