Christopher Walken credited as playing...
Wilbur Turnblad
- Wilbur Turnblad: [to Tracy] This is America, babe, you gotta think big to be big.
- Edna Turnblad: Big ain't the problem in this family, Wilbur.
- Amber Von Tussle: I lost, Mom. Let's just deal with it!
- Velma Von Tussle: [as she pulls the tallies out of her dress] You did not lose! You can not have lost because I switched the damn tallies!
- Edna Turnblad: [standing behind a live television camera] Smile, Miss Crabcakes! You're on Candid Camera!
- Wilbur Turnblad: That was a good shot! Don't you think?
- Wilbur Turnblad: [to a sobbing Edna, who thinks he's been cheating on her] Honey, took me five years to figure out you were flirting!
- [softly]
- Wilbur Turnblad: How could I ever?
- Edna Turnblad: First the hair, now this?
- Wilbur Turnblad: But, all the kids are battin' up their hair now, hon.
- Edna Turnblad: [to Wilbur] You're no help.
- Tracy Turnblad: It's ratting, daddy.
- [to Edna]
- Tracy Turnblad: And our first lady, Jacqueline Kennedy does it!
- Edna Turnblad: I don't believe that.
- Tracy Turnblad: What do you mean you don't believe that? How else would it look that way?
- Edna Turnblad: I believe that it is naturally stiff.
- Velma Von Tussle: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and you would remain completely obtuse!
- Wilbur Turnblad: Obtuse?
- Velma Von Tussle: Yes, obtuse!
- Wilbur Turnblad: I flunked geometry...
- Velma Von Tussle: ...yes, and biology too, no doubt!
- Wilbur Turnblad: [to Edna, as she resists the urge to jump onto the stage and dance] Do it now! Or forever wish you had!