Chris Parnell credited as playing...
Harold Melvin
- Harold Melvin: [quoting Dune] It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
- Larry Schwartzman: Is that Rush?
- One Eyed Jack Faro: Building his stack . . . !
- Lainie Schwartzman: Yeah, guess I just put that little brainiac fucker back in the game.
- Harold Melvin: You have the vocabulary of a drunken spice miner and the hairstyle of an Arrakeen whore.
- Harold Melvin: It is apparent that you have no concept of pot odds. There are a number of books available in the gift shop that explain it quite thoroughly. Also, you have corn in your teeth.
- Harold Melvin: I was a two-to-one underdog, and the pot paid me 11 to 1. Not a bad risk return ratio. You played poorly.
- Harold Melvin: I have lived with my mother since I was born. I live with her because it is convenient and because it is difficult for me to take care of myself. I will probably be stuck with her for the rest of my life. Or the rest of her life. Because she's much older than me, she will die first.
- Harold Melvin: Ruth, if I were a food critic, I would give your cooking five stars -- five stars that had each collapsed into a black hole and merged to form the largest black hole in the universe.
- Harold Melvin: I knew you only had one pair. Your bet on the river was as transparent as a cloaked Romulan Bird of Prey.
- The German: Arschloch.
- Harold Melvin: It is apparent that you have no concept of pot odds. There are a number of books available in the gift shop that explain it quite thoroughly.