Sarah Michelle Gellar credited as playing...
Brett Eisenberg
- Archie Knox: [sitting with Brett's family after meeting them for the first time] Well, I do appreciate the attempt you've all made at avoiding the obvious. It was a worthy effort. But let's cut to the chase, shall we. Robert, how old are you?
- Robert Eisenberg: 57.
- Archie Knox: And I'm 50. So, that makes me younger than Robert. So everybody feeling good about that right now?
- Ethan Eisenberg: I am very relieved. How old were you when Brett was in third grade?
- Brett Eisenberg: Grow up Ethan.
- Ethan Eisenberg: Brett skipped the third grade.
- Ethan Eisenberg: [imitates a buzzer] Well played.
- Robert Eisenberg: Is Archie alcoholic?
- Brett Eisenberg: Yeah
- Robert Eisenberg: Look, you know I don't like to get involved in your life. But this is the reason that I don't... That I'm worried about this relationship with this man. If Archie isn't going to take care of himself someone else will. I don't want you to have to spend your life that way.
- Ethan Eisenberg: I know I'm not dad, but if you ever need to talk to someone I could try to manufacture something that sounds lucid.
- Brett Eisenberg: [pause] The only thing that I can't bear, that's killing me... Is the thought that he was worried about me when he died.
- Ethan Eisenberg: He wasn't worried.
- Brett Eisenberg: How do you know?
- Ethan Eisenberg: I was here the morning that dad got the phone call from Mickey. Well, after he hung up the phone, I told him would gladly assassinate Archie, if that's what he wanted. You know a dieing wish vendetta type of thing.
- Brett Eisenberg: Very comforting.
- Ethan Eisenberg: Anyway, he said, "Thanks, but I think Brett can take care of herself."
- Brett Eisenberg: He really said that?
- Ethan Eisenberg: Yeah. That's straight from the words of Robert Eisenberg, MD.
- Brett Eisenberg: MD... My Dad.
- Brett Eisenberg: I know, it's nuts, but when I'm with him I fell like a better version of myself... You know? Funnier, smarter, sexier.
- Brett Eisenberg: Is this all some sort of experiment, see how long it takes to seduce a young girl?
- Archie Knox: Seduce? What would the point of that be?
- Archie Knox: Take as much time as you need.
- Brett Eisenberg: I will.
- Archie Knox: But don't forget that I need you too. More than I've ever needed anybody before.
- [starts to drive away and then reverses to be next to her again]
- Archie Knox: Because you may not think so, but you're different.
- Brett Eisenberg: From all the rest?
- [Archie nods and drives away]
- Nurse: Just a minute miss, sorry to bug you. But your father hasn't filled out his dinner menu yet. Would you mind?
- Brett Eisenberg: He's not my father.
- Nurse: Excuse me?
- Brett Eisenberg: I said he's not my father. He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!
- Nurse: Either way he eats, right?
- [Brett walks into the hospital room, pulls back the curtain, and we see Archie in bed]
- Archie Knox: [using a high pitch, mimicking voice] He's my boyfriend. I have sex with him!
- Archie Knox: Why won't you marry me?
- Brett Eisenberg: Are you asking me to explain?
- Archie Knox: Yes, I am.
- Brett Eisenberg: When I look at you, I see a teacher. But when you look at me, you see a student. Because you like to run away. It's part of who you are. Because, in the end, a girl can't grow up until she looses a father and leaves an Archie.