Bill Cosby credited as playing...
Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable
- Theo Huxtable: Wait, pâte! All right!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Ah! Don't you touch it! Keep... This is for the guest.
- Walter 'Cockroach' Bradley: [goes for the pâte] All right!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, no. You are... You are not a guest. Never have been.
- Clair Huxtable: You're making pâte for me?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, I'm making it for Dr. Morgan, who is coming over to talk about the hospital fundraiser.
- Clair Huxtable: Oh, I hope it's another carnival like last year. I really enjoyed that.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well, I didn't.
- Clair Huxtable: But, Cliff, you were a hit.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, no, I was not a hit. I had to sit in that dunking booth.
- Clair Huxtable: I know.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: I'm not sitting in it anymore.
- Clair Huxtable: Why? It was so much fun.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Fun? For me? Sitting in that chair, watching people hit the thing, and I fall six feet into that cold, nasty, dirty water? And watching my wife standing there, just saying "Come here! Knock my husband down! Just seven tickets!" And then every boyfriend that Denise has ever dated came with pocketful of money.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Hey.
- Rudy Huxtable: What's that?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Pâte.
- Rudy Huxtable: Can I have some?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: You won't like it.
- Rudy Huxtable: Yes, I will.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well, it's made out of liver.
- Rudy Huxtable: I don't like liver.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: And it has, uh, ground-up worms' eyes in it.
- Rudy Huxtable: [cringes in disgust] I don't like worms' eyes.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: And then they have sautéed chickens' toes.
- Rudy Huxtable: I don't like sautéed chicken toes.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Okay. So, you want some?
- Rudy Huxtable: Yes.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well, you can't have any because they're for Dr. Morgan. He's coming over to talk about the spring fundraiser.
- Rudy Huxtable: DUNK DADDY!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No dunk Daddy!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [about Vanessa's missing folder] All right, just think calmly and thoroughly, and you'll find it.
- Rudy Huxtable: I'll help.
- Vanessa Huxtable: No, thank you.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: That's not a bad idea because she is fantastic at finding things that don't belong to her.
- [Theo and Cockroach come home wearing sunglasses]
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Isn't it nighttime outside?
- Theo Huxtable: Yeah.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Is it the glare of the moon that's bothering you?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Dan!
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Hey, Cliff.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: How are you feeling?
- Dr. Dan Morgan: I'm feeling good.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: And no dunking booth!
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Who said anything about a dunking booth?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, it's in your eyes. I can see it in your eyes.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Theo, is that a mustache on your top lip?
- Theo Huxtable: [chuckles] Yes, it is.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Is it yours?
- Theo Huxtable: Yes, it is.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Does your daddy know about it?
- Theo Huxtable: Yes, he does.
- Walter 'Cockroach' Bradley: My dad knows about mine, too, only he noticed it a lot sooner than Dr. Huxtable noticed Theo's.
- Theo Huxtable: Ha ha, you wish. Dad, when was the first time you noticed my mustache?
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Uh, when... when Dr. Morgan said you had one.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: [looks over how much was earned from the last carnival] Concessions: $500. Rides: $900. Dunking booth: $28,000.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Okay, you can have the carnival.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Good.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: You can have the dunking booth.
- Dr. Dan Morgan: Yeah.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Why do I have to sit in it?
- Dr. Dan Morgan: 'Cause the kids loved the way you yelled when you fell and acted like you were really mad.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Acted? I was not acting.
- [Denise and Clair show the vases they made in pottery class. Denise's vase is perfectly made, while Clair's is lumpy and crooked]
- Dr. Dan Morgan: I think they're both beautiful.
- Clair Huxtable: Thank you.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: No, that's not true at all. One... One of them definitely is not. Now I'm not naming any... names...
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [about Clair's vase] Don't get mad at me. I'm just telling the truth about this.
- Clair Huxtable: Well, you cannot tell the truth and be my friend.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [follows Clair, carrying her vase] Hey, wait, wait, wait! Don't leave this one in here! You'll frighten the guest!
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: [to Dr. Morgan] You know what would be a good idea, man? How about if we put Clair in the booth?
- Clair Huxtable: This child is making fun of my art.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well, you're provoking it, dear.
- Clair Huxtable: I've had enough of you two.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Well, then don't make anything else like that again.
- Clair Huxtable: You didn't find your paper?
- Vanessa Huxtable: I looked everywhere.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: You did? And Rudy was no help?
- Vanessa Huxtable: She found your fountain pen.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: Good.
- Vanessa Huxtable: A keychain, a pair of chopsticks, your gold earrings.
- Clair Huxtable: Great!
- Vanessa Huxtable: And $3.00 in change.
- Dr. Heathcliff 'Cliff' Huxtable: That's mine.