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Eva Longoria and Jesse Metcalfe in Desperate Housewives (2004)

Teri Hatcher: Susan Mayer

Ah, But Underneath

Desperate Housewives

Teri Hatcher credited as playing...

Susan Mayer

Photos5

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Quotes7

  • Susan: I think we should give it to Paul.
  • Gabrielle Solis: He's still mourning Susan. He'll probably freak out.
  • Susan: It doesn't matter. She was his wife. He deserves to have all the facts.
  • Bree Van De Kamp: Well, we could do it gently. We could tell him about it over coffee and pastry.
  • Lynette Scavo: That'll be fun. "Paul, we have proof your wife killed herself over some deep dark secret. Another bear claw".
  • Julie Mayer: [mocking Susan] "Dear Diary, Mike doesn't even know I'm alive".
  • Susan: Shut up.
  • Julie Mayer: If you wanna date him, you're gonna have to ask him out.
  • Susan: I keep hoping he'll ask me out.
  • Julie Mayer: How's that going?
  • Susan: Shouldn't you be making brownies for your nerdy friends?
  • Mike Delfino: Should I have told her we were having steak? She's not like, a vegetarian or something, is she?
  • Susan: Oh, no, no. No, Edie's definitely a carnivore.
  • Susan: Julie? Mike Delfino just invited us to dinner Friday night.
  • Julie Mayer: He did? Cool.
  • Susan: But only I'm going. Because you're gonna come down with something semi-serious that requires bed-rest and fluids.
  • [Runs up the stairs as she squeals]
  • Martha Huber: Susan, have you been able to find any old clothes for Edie? She has nothing to wear.
  • Susan: I thought that was the look she was going for.
  • Martha Huber: Oh, Susan! Edie may be trash but she's still a human being!
  • Gabrielle Solis: So now you're taking Julie on your dinner date with Mike?
  • Susan: Yeah, well, if Edie's gonna be there, I'm gonna need emotional support.
  • Gabrielle Solis: I can't believe she wormed her way in. How did you let her do that?
  • Susan: I don't know, I was gonna take her out at the knees, but it all happened so fast.
  • Gabrielle Solis: Well, you know what you need to do. You need to get there early, spend a little time with Mike before little barracuda gets there.
  • Susan: That's a good idea. Edie will get there at five forty five, which means her breasts will arrive at five thirty, so I should shoot for five.
  • [after reading the blackmail note]
  • Susan: Oh, Mary Alice, what did you do?

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