Felicity Huffman credited as playing...
Lynette Scavo
- Beefy Middle-Aged Woman: Listen, it seems to me that you have some anger management issues.
- Lynette Scavo: I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues.
- Susan: I think we should give it to Paul.
- Gabrielle Solis: He's still mourning Susan. He'll probably freak out.
- Susan: It doesn't matter. She was his wife. He deserves to have all the facts.
- Bree Van De Kamp: Well, we could do it gently. We could tell him about it over coffee and pastry.
- Lynette Scavo: That'll be fun. "Paul, we have proof your wife killed herself over some deep dark secret. Another bear claw".
- [a motorcycle cop pulls Lynette over]
- Officer Hayes: License and registration, please.
- [she hands them to him]
- Officer Hayes: Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over?
- [she looks at the kids in the back]
- Lynette Scavo: I have a theory.
- Officer Hayes: The kids were jumping up and down. They should be sitting, wearing their seatbelts.
- Lynette Scavo: I yelled at them. They never listen to me. It's very frustrating.
- Officer Hayes: Well, you have to find a way to control them. After all, that's your job.
- [he hands her the ticket and walks off]
- Mary Alice Young: [narrating] Though he'd been a policeman for six years, Officer Hayes had never found himself in a truly dangerous situation. Then again, he had never before told a woman how to raise her children.
- [Lynette furiously gets out of her car and slowly approaches Officer Hayes]
- Lynette Scavo: Are you saying I'm a bad mother?
- Officer Hayes: Ma'am, you need to get back in your car, please.
- Lynette Scavo: I have no help. My husband's always away on business.
- Officer Hayes: I'm gonna have to ask you to step back now.
- Lynette Scavo: My babysitter joined the Witness Relocation Program! I haven't slept through the night...
- [Officer Hayes slowly reaches for his gun]
- Officer Hayes: Ma'am.
- Lynette Scavo: ...in six years. And for you to stand there and judge me...
- [she stands in front of Officer Hayes, who's terrified. He looks at the children, who are acting terrible]
- Officer Hayes: Okay. I'm not gonna give you a ticket. I'm just gonna let you off with a warning.
- Lynette Scavo: I accept your apology.
- [she takes the warning, sighs, and gets back in the car]
- Officer Hayes: Buckle up.