Phil Leeds credited as playing...
Blackie Sorrell
- Blackie Sorrell: She knew the way I earned a buck. She knew the whole bit. We got along pretty good. She said to me, "Blackie, you have a choice: Either you can go on hustling as you have been, shaming your family and your friends, or you can marry me and share a wonderful life and my two and a half million dollar inheritance."
- Buddy Sorrell: You're kidding.
- Blackie Sorrell: [pulling out a photograph] Here's a picture of the two and a half million.
- Buddy Sorrell: She got two and a half million?
- Blackie Sorrell: That's right.
- Buddy Sorrell: And you married her?
- Blackie Sorrell: Heh, that's my wife.
- Buddy Sorrell: You know, she could be a lot uglier for two and a half million.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Are all you Sorrells as funny as Buddy?
- Blackie Sorrell: No, uh... My mother was very strict. She said you can't all be funny. One of you has to be handsome. Well...
- [strikes a pose and smiles]
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: You made a wise choice.
- Blackie Sorrell: Actually we're all handsome in my family, but Buddy just hides it better than I do.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: I see.
- Blackie Sorrell: We're all salesmen, too. Buddy sells jokes and I sell real estate.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Hey, you ought to go into business together and sell funny real estate.
- Blackie Sorrell: Just to see you, I came all the way from Brazil.
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, I got all the coffee beans I can use.
- Blackie Sorrell: Oh, do you... do you, uh... do you play pool, Laura?
- Laura Petrie: [indicating Rob] Not with this one I don't. He's a real hustler.
- Blackie Sorrell: Is he now?
- Laura Petrie: You've heard of Minnesota Fats? This is Illinois Skinny.
- Blackie Sorrell: Are you, uh, really as good as she says you are?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: I'll let my pool cue speak for me. This way, pigeon.
- Blackie Sorrell: Cute wife you have, Rob.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: No, she's isn't. She just puts that on for company.
- Buddy Sorrell: All right, tell me, what finally made you go straight?
- Blackie Sorrell: The love of a good woman.
- Buddy Sorrell: Oooooo.
- Buddy Sorrell: All right, wise guy, whadda ya want here?
- Blackie Sorrell: Nothing! It's just that I'm getting old and I... I wanna set a few things right before my good looks fade away. You know, nobody believes I was a homely child.