Dick Van Dyke credited as playing...
Rob Petrie
- [Rob okays Alan filming at his home, then calls Laura about it]
- Sally Rogers: Listen, how can you say yes without checking?
- Rob Petrie: I always do that.
- Sally Rogers: And she doesn't mind?
- Rob Petrie: Oh, yeah, but it makes the marriage exciting and dangerous.
- Rob Petrie: [keeping order by directing the party, with overflow guests kept in the kitchen] This is Jerry and Millie's anniversary party, that's all, and you should act just the way you did at the last one.
- Buddy Sorrell: I wasn't invited to the last one. What am I supposed to do?
- Sally Rogers: Shut up or they'll put you in the kitchen.
- Rob Petrie: [on the phone] Well, I'm sorry, Mel, that's too bad, but the waters do not part at Alan Brady's command.
- Buddy Sorrell: [another bald joke] Mel's hair did.
- Rob Petrie: Millie, Alan wants you to uninvite twenty-eight people.
- Millie Helper: What?
- Laura Petrie: He only wants you to have twelve people at YOUR party.
- Millie Helper: Well... how come you... w-why... w-who do... well... What did YOU say?
- Rob Petrie: Those exact words.
- Rob Petrie: What are you watching?
- Laura Petrie: A new soap opera: "A Town Called Passion".
- Rob Petrie: Is it any good?
- Laura Petrie: Trash, unadulterated trash!
- [Rob goes to turn it off]
- Laura Petrie: Uh, uh, it's almost over!
- Blanche: I bet you don't know who I am.
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, you're Blanche the Fl- you're Millie's cousin.