Drake Bell credited as playing...
Drake Parker
- Josh Nichols: Oh, uh, Yooka, I-I-I have a present for you. Come here.
- Yooka: Oh, uh, what it is?
- [opens bag]
- Yooka: Oh? Oh! It's a Glokmah!
- Drake Parker: No. No, this is a goat.
- Josh Nichols: Glokmah means goat.
- Yooka: Yes, uh, you see, zhe goat is national symbol of Yudonia. Ah, the glokmah is very sacred in my country.
- Josh Nichols: [trying to fix Drake's marriage problem] I-I-I was on the phone with the Yudonian embassy for an hour, I-I-I tried to get you drafted, and I even put a call in to Oprah.
- Drake Parker: What can Oprah do?
- Josh Nichols: Oprah can do ANYTHING!
- [first lines, into the camera]
- Josh Nichols: Have you ever been really good friends with someone you never even met before?
- Drake Parker: Y'ever been really thirsty, just didn't feel like gettin' up?
- Josh Nichols: See, for over a year now, I've been e-mailing this girl from a foreign country.
- [Drake calls Josh on his cell phone]
- Josh Nichols: One sec. Hello?
- Drake Parker: [faking a Bronx accent] Yeah, this is, uh, Lt. Pierson with Teen San Diago Police Department.
- Josh Nichols: [recognizing Drake] Oh, IS it?
- Drake Parker: Yeah, you're gonna need to get a can of soda upstairs to your brother, a code three.
- Josh Nichols: Code this!
- [blows a whistle loudly; both hang up; Drake heads downstairs]
- Josh Nichols: Anyway, back to my e-pal, Yooka. It's-it's kinda weird to be friends with someone you never met or even talked to on the phone, but I...
- [phone rings again]
- Josh Nichols: [picking up] If you call me one more time, I will take an entire bottle of maple syrup and pour it all over your underwear drawer, so for the next nine days YOU can walk around with sicky butt!
- Walter Nichols: Josh, it's your father.
- Josh Nichols: Nice try, ya big doof!
- [hangs up]
- Josh Nichols: Man, i-i-if he's so thirsty, why can't he come downstairs, go in the kitchen, and get himself...
- [suddenly notices Drake sitting beside him, smiling and drinking a soda]
- Josh Nichols: Aw, geez.
- Drake Parker: Uh, Josh, I don't think Yooka came here to sing Yudonian folk songs. She probably wants to experience more American things, like sushi and Mexican food. Right, Yooka?
- Josh Nichols: You, my friend, have earned yourself a Yudonia thank you.
- [kisses Drake on each cheek; Drake starts to leave]
- Josh Nichols: Where you goin'?
- Drake Parker: To boil my face.