Josh Peck credited as playing...
Josh Nichols
- Josh Nichols: [in a flashback]
- [to Drake]
- Josh Nichols: I hope you go bald!
- Drake Parker: [to Josh] I hope they cancel Oprah!
- Dr. Phyllis: [to Drake] Do you ever take advantage of Josh just a little bit?
- Drake Parker: Well...
- Josh Nichols: But not just me! He takes advantage of everyone!
- Drake Parker: Oh, name one time.
- Josh Nichols: Okay, uh... that girl, Liza.
- Drake Parker: Hot Liza?
- Josh Nichols: Yeah. You totally dated her just to get your old girlfriend back.
- Drake Parker: Oh, that's an exasperation.
- Josh Nichols: EXAGGERATION! Read a book, would ya?
- Dr. Phyllis: Well, clearly there is a lot of fighting that goes on between you two brothers.
- Drake Parker: Oh, yeah - and he's always startin' it.
- Josh Nichols: Beg to differ.
- Dr. Phyllis: Uh, Josh, Drake is speaking right now and you need to respect that, because if you don 't respect him, how will he ever respect you?
- Drake Parker: Yes, Josh, how?
- Josh Nichols: Yeah, I'll tell ya a little secret about Drake.
- Drake Parker: He can be the most irritating human on the planet.
- Josh Nichols: Sometimes he aggravates me to a point where I just wanna go VRRRR-YEOWWW!
- Drake Parker: I'm not doin' too good in English, right?
- Josh Nichols: You know Drake hates my girlfriend Mindy, right?
- Drake Parker: So, last week he goes up to our teacher...
- Josh Nichols: So on Saturday, Mindy's walkin' up our driveway...
- Drake Parker: ...and Josh tells her I should have a tutor.
- Josh Nichols: ...and Drake sprays her with the hose!
- Drake Parker: A tutor?
- Josh Nichols: A hose!
- Drake Parker: I-I-I can't take a shower without finding his hair on the soap.
- Josh Nichols: He pees... NEAR the toilet.
- Josh Nichols, Drake Parker: [in unison] Sometimes... he just drives me insane!
- [the boys toast their brotherly relationship]
- Drake Parker: Ugh! This is diet. Here, switch with me.
- Josh Nichols: No, you already took a sip.
- Drake Parker: So?
- Josh Nichols: So, I don't wanna drink your backwash.
- Megan Parker: [malevolently] It is 11:45 PM. I am a little girl. Little girls are supposed to be asleep at 11:45 PM. Now this is the third night in a row you clowns have kept me up with your fighting.
- [the boys resume arguing loudly]
- Megan Parker: HEEEEEEEEEEEY!
- [the boys fall silent]
- Megan Parker: Here.
- Josh Nichols: What are these?
- Megan Parker: Tickets to The Dr. Phyllis Show. You guys both go on tomorrow after school. The topic is bickering brothers. Now, I'm gonna go back to sleep and I don't wanna hear another sound out of this room.