Josh Peck credited as playing...
Josh Nichols
- Josh Nichols: [as the team gets sick] Did you do something to my brownies?
- Drake Parker: Oh, yeah, Josh, I live to sabotage baked goods.
- Drake Parker: What happened to you?
- Josh Nichols: Football happened to me. First I got tackled, then I got trampled, and I'm pretty sure someone bit my ankle.
- Drake Parker: All right, so you didn't make the team. We'll just find another way to make you cool.
- Josh Nichols: Oh, I made the team.
- Drake Parker: You did?
- Josh Nichols: Yeah. Check it out.
- [holds up a jersey proudly]
- Drake Parker: No way. That's so cool.
- Josh Nichols: Yeah, it is. My brotha, you are lookin' at Belleview High School Football Team's brand-new... E-QUIPMENT MANAGER!
- [Drake stares at Josh, incredulously]
- Josh Nichols: E-QUIPMENT MANAGER!
- [Josh, trying to look cool, leans against a freshly painted wall]
- Drake Parker: Josh...
- [Josh looks at his back, which has paint all over it]
- Josh Nichols: [shouting out] How 'bout paintin' on the weekends?
- Josh Nichols: Ah, cheese.
- Drake Parker: If I was stranded on an island and I could only bring a thousand things, I'd bring these headphones, that stereo, and 997 CDs - and a girl.
- Josh Nichols: It's not that I like eating cheeses that much. I just like lookin' at 'em, sniffin' 'em, feelin' 'em...
- Drake Parker: Do you know that Josh sometimes FEELS cheese?
- Josh Nichols: There're so many different kinds!
- Drake Parker: There's so much cool music out there. You got pop, you got blues, hip-hop...
- Josh Nichols: You got mozzarella, you got swiss, cottage...
- Drake Parker: ...Heavy metal, punk...
- Josh Nichols: ...Parmesan, string...
- Drake Parker: ...Jazz...
- Josh Nichols: ...Feta...
- Drake Parker: ...R&B...
- Josh Nichols: And of course my number one cheese...
- Drake Parker: And my favorite music - Rock 'n' Roll.
- Josh Nichols: ...Cheddar. CHEDDAR!
- Drake Parker: You know, Josh isn't really into music the way I am.
- Josh Nichols: You know, Drake doesn't share my love of cheeses.
- Drake Parker, Josh Nichols: [in unison] Oh, well. His loss.
- Drake Parker: Ahh, Music.
- Josh Nichols: Ahh, Cheese.
- [Josh is trying to learn how to play football by playng a video game]
- Josh Nichols: Run! No, pass! Don't pass. Pass! Not the sack! Not the sack!
- Video game: Oo! The sack!
- Josh Nichols: Being in school at night, it creeps me out.
- Drake Parker: Really? I feel that way about school during the day.
- Josh Nichols: I'm not really the football type.
- Drake Parker: But if you BECOME the football type, that's the kind of thing that will up your cool.
- Josh Nichols: Huh. I DO want my cool upped.
- Drake Parker: Playing football is way cooler than managing equipment. Who knows? Maybe you'll do okay.
- Josh Nichols: We're playing Lincoln. Last week they tackled the guy so hard, he had to go back to the fourth grade.
- Drake Parker: So?
- Josh Nichols: I HATED the fourth grade. It was my awkward stage.
- Drake Parker: And this is...?
- Coach Davis: Here, kid, this is for you.
- Josh Nichols: I get the game ball?
- Coach Davis: Heck, yeah, you deserve it. Besides, a couple of your teeth are lodged in there.