Josh Nichols: You know what makes me feel good? Volunteering to help people.
Drake Parker: You know what's fun? Instant messaging four girls at once.
Josh Nichols: Like one time I made Drake come with me to volunteer at this home for the elderly.
Drake Parker: But it was NOT fun when Josh brought me to some old folks home to help out.
Josh Nichols: We met this couple who was in their late eighties - Murray and Francine Boshwich.
Drake Parker: Which is where I got to meet Murray and Francine Boshwich.
Josh Nichols: Mrs. Boshwich tried to cut Drake's hair 'cause she thought he was a hippy.
Drake Parker: Next thing I know, she' comin' at me with scissors yellin' "Hold still, hippy!"
Josh Nichols: And then Mr. Boshwich starts telling us these stories.
Drake Parker: Then her husband starts yappin' about the old days.
Josh Nichols: Which wouldn't have been so bad except that he was eating meatloaf while he talked.
Drake Parker: And the whole time he's talkin', he's scarfin' down meatloaf.
Josh Nichols: It was kind of like...
Drake Parker: Imagine this...
Josh Nichols: [with a mouthful of food] "When I was seventeen, I dated the ugliest girl in all of Wisconsin."
Drake Parker: [with a mouthful of food] "You give me one good reason why they shoulda canceled Bonanza."
Josh Nichols: Anyway, I went back to that old folks home a bunch of times.
Drake Parker: I never went THERE again.
Josh Nichols: 'Cause I really like cheering up old people.
Drake Parker: 'Cause instant messaging girls is WAY more fun than having Mr. Boshwich spit meatloaf on your face.
