Drake Bell credited as playing...
Drake Parker
- Drake Parker: You're kind of a girl, right?
- Mindy Crenshaw: Well, if not, I've been buying the wrong underwear.
- Josh Nichols: Well, there are more important things in life than kissing girls.
- Drake Parker: Name two.
- Josh Nichols: I can't.
- [during a blindfolded taste test, Drake kisses Tori]
- Tori: Mmm, hot guy lips?
- Drake Parker: That is correct. We also would have accepted EXTREMELY hot guy lips.
- Drake Parker: You see, girls are a lot like... well, candy.
- Josh Nichols: Candy?
- Drake Parker: Right. Let's say Tori is the Megathon Bar.
- Josh Nichols: Tori's the Megathon Bar.
- Drake Parker: Great candy bar, right?
- Josh Nichols: Sure.
- Drake Parker: Yeah, but I wouldn't want this to be the only candy in my life. Would you?
- Josh Nichols: No.
- Drake Parker: Exactly. I mean, some days we'd want a Flutter Nutter.
- Josh Nichols: Sure.
- Drake Parker: And other days some Squibbles.
- Josh Nichols: Oh-ho-ho, I like the Squibbles.
- Drake Parker: And Weebs and Puttie Cats and Melon M's...
- Josh Nichols: All right, will you cut to the chase?
- Drake Parker: Sure. You see, we as men can enjoy the Megathan Bar whenever we want, but that doesn't mean we have to make it our candy "friend."