Josh Peck credited as playing...
Josh Nichols
- Josh Nichols: Well, there are more important things in life than kissing girls.
- Drake Parker: Name two.
- Josh Nichols: I can't.
- Josh Nichols: [to Drake] Ever since I've grown this mustache, people treat me differently. I get more respect.
- Gavin: [passing by] Hey, Josh. Helen wants you to go down in the basement and empty the rat traps.
- Josh Nichols: [back to Drake] You see? Helen NEVER let me do that before. The power... of the stash.
- Josh Nichols: See that cool-looking guy standing over there?
- Mindy Crenshaw: Yeah?
- Josh Nichols: Two minutes ago, walked right by me, saw my stash, said "Sup?"
- Mindy Crenshaw: So, you like the mustache because it helps you meet strange men.
- Drake Parker: You see, girls are a lot like... well, candy.
- Josh Nichols: Candy?
- Drake Parker: Right. Let's say Tori is the Megathon Bar.
- Josh Nichols: Tori's the Megathon Bar.
- Drake Parker: Great candy bar, right?
- Josh Nichols: Sure.
- Drake Parker: Yeah, but I wouldn't want this to be the only candy in my life. Would you?
- Josh Nichols: No.
- Drake Parker: Exactly. I mean, some days we'd want a Flutter Nutter.
- Josh Nichols: Sure.
- Drake Parker: And other days some Squibbles.
- Josh Nichols: Oh-ho-ho, I like the Squibbles.
- Drake Parker: And Weebs and Puttie Cats and Melon M's...
- Josh Nichols: All right, will you cut to the chase?
- Drake Parker: Sure. You see, we as men can enjoy the Megathan Bar whenever we want, but that doesn't mean we have to make it our candy "friend."
- Megan Parker: So, are you two, like, dating now?
- Mindy Crenshaw: Yeah.
- Josh Nichols: Yes, we are.
- Megan Parker: Why?
- Josh Nichols: I happen to find Mindy very appealing.
- Megan Parker: Oh, I understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's gone wrong in HER head.