Marco Lopez credited as playing...
Fireman Marco Lopez
- Fireman Chet Kelly: [the guys are shredding newspaper for the box the cat will use to give birth] Which one of you bums took the sports section? Oh, this isn't it, is it? All right, can somebody tell me who won the track meet?
- Fireman Mike Stoker: "The mini skirt is coming back next season. Look for..."
- Fireman Marco Lopez: "... three fugitives who escaped after stealing..."
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: "... a cup of chopped onions, six ounces of noodles, half a teaspoon of salt..."
- Fireman John Gage: And the track meet's gonna be in Portland, Oreegon, and St. Louis, Missouri. I guess this must be it here.
- Fireman Chet Kelly: Did you find a headline in there that says "Berserk Fireman Kills Buddies"?
- Fireman John Gage: I don't know. I'll look.
- Fireman John Gage: [the kittens are born] Hey, would you look at that?
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: I told you she'd make a great mother.
- Fireman Marco Lopez: Three, four, five!
- Fireman Chet Kelly: Congratulations, John! Quintuplets!
- Fireman John Gage: Well, now wait a minute. We got a problem.
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: WE do?
- Fireman John Gage: Yeah. There's five of them, and there's six of us. Hey, you don't suppose she'd have another one, do ya?
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: I don't think she likes that idea.
- Fireman John Gage: Oh. Well, I guess all we can do is just draw straws. I mean, I hope somebody's not gonna be too disappointed.
- Captain Hank Stanley: Well, now wait a minute. I appreciate the offer, and they are undeniably cute, but the last thing in the world I need is a kitten.
- Fireman John Gage: Well, no problem, then!
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: I sure like 'em, but I don't think my dog would like the idea, so I'm gonna have to pass.
- Fireman Marco Lopez: And I've already got two cats.
- Fireman Chet Kelly: Cat fur makes me sneeze when I'm around 'em too long.
- Fireman Mike Stoker: Sorry. I'd like to, but I've got a No Pet Clause in my lease.
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: I thought you told me that your landlady didn't like pets.
- Fireman Chet Kelly: Looks like we got a new problem: Instead of one too few, we have five too many.
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: Y'know, I used to date a girl once whose cat had kittens. And after they were weaned, she used to take one of them with her every time she went to a dinner party. She'd put a big red bow around their neck. She'd walk in the door, hand the kitten to the hostess, and say "You're probably so tired of receiving flowers or wine."
- Fireman John Gage: Yeah? Well, what happened?
- Fireman Roy DeSoto: People stopped asking her to dinner.