With the title of this review, I may be giving the false impression that I'm suggesting that this is a stupid episode. I'm not. The reason for my suggestion is that there are a lot of people in this episode who are either crazy, or stupid, or perhaps some of both. Beavis and Butt-head are bigger idiots than any of the semi-brainless wonders in this episode, and millions still enjoy those moronic cartoon characters.
The main reason for this title is because Captain Hank Stanley is worried about an impending inspection from his former battalion chief, who he's convinced is a total hard-ass who's out to get him. All the while, Chet tries to get the station mascot Henry to get accustomed to the new doghouse he built for him, but he doesn't seem so interested in it. But as usual, there are more pressing matters.
First you've got a bickering couple who pulls into a gas station with a '64 Ford pickup, The woman gets out to pull the gas pump hose beyond it's limits as she tries to fill it up with gas, but he can't get the truck in the right position, until he finally he backs up too far, rips the hose out of the pump, gives his wife a bump on the head and causes a gas spill. Naturally, Squad 51 is called to pour flame retardant on the gas leak while they're treating the woman's injuries, until the owner of the station gets mad at the attendant for turning off the pumps. He turns everything back on causing a big spark that sends Marco flying away from the pump while he checking it out, and starts a small fire which the department puts out and fortunately Gage immediately turns it back off and gives the owner a well-deserved dirty look. My biggest question is, who played this couple? Or the gas station owner?
Meanwhile Dr. Brackett is going through some problems with his own bosses, who impose bureaucratic red tape and ridiculous regulations that impede saving lives. In fact somehow it almost prevents Marco from being treated for that mishap at the gas station.
The next rescue involves some old man and his blonde bimbo wife who's young enough to be his daughter. The guy is teaching his wife how to use a nail gun while they put up some paneling. As the guy takes a break, she places the nail gun on the table and accidentally shoots a nail at him. Besides the paramedic and the staff at Rampart General, what ends up saving this man? His pacemaker. Meanwhile Dixie has to talk to this trophy wife about how to deal with life without her old fart husband, because she's going to have to face this sooner or later.
If this incident isn't looney enough, a bunch of ice skaters are injured because of a fight by a pair of clowns. You read that correctly -- CLOWNS! Most of the skaters are injured because they tried to break up the fight. One of the clowns was played Branscombe Richmond, who would later play in the Lorenzo Lamas syndicated action series "Renegade." The other one, I'm not so sure about. For everything that made this series so good, they had a bad habit of not giving credit to all their actors.
Finally, we get a couple of teenage girls who somehow took a nosedive off an overpass into a tractor trailer loaded with pesticides. The trailer is found to have a gas leak, but since the truck runs on diesel fuel, that leak is obviously from the car. None of the fireman can use any equipment that can generate sparks, because it'll start a fire and burn these girls to a crisp. Thankfully, they still use the jaws of life and some gas masks to pull the girls out before the truck finally blows.
And that my friends, is the most normal thing to happen in this episode.
