Sam Anderson credited as playing...
Special Agent Thomas Garfield
- Secretary: [Robert is at a job interview for a position in the FBI] This fax came for you, sir.
- [She hands Agent Garfield a piece of paper and walks out]
- Robert Barone: So, as I was saying...
- Agent Garfield: Is this a joke?
- Robert Barone: Excuse me?
- Agent Garfield: "Dear FBI Agent Garfield. "I'm writing to ask for your understanding. "You have an interview this morning with my son, Robert Barone. I think you will find Robert to be an exceptional candidate for the job. He is hard-working, brave, and handsome.
- [Agent Garfield stops and looks at Robert, possibly to assess his looks]
- Agent Garfield: But I feel I have hurt his chances somewhat. You see, he has a lucky suit. And while I was ironing this morning, I ruined it. He was very upset, so he might be a little distracted. Please don't hold this against him. If anything, blame me. I don't mind, I'm used to it. Of course, it's also my other son Raymond Barone's fault. He's a famous sportswriter. Perhaps you've heard of him. But mostly, I'm to blame. I only wanted Robert to look his best. Thank you for understanding. Sincerely, Marie Barone."
- [Robert clears his throat]
- Agent Garfield: "P. S."
- Robert Barone: Oh, God.
- Agent Garfield: "Please ask Robert to forgive me. I tried, but it'll mean more coming from you."
- [He puts down the letter and looks at Robert]
- Agent Garfield: Please forgive your mother.
- Marie Barone: I know you understand what I mean. You have a picture of your mother on your desk.
- Agent Garfield: That's my wife.
- Marie Barone: A handsome woman.