Doris Roberts credited as playing...
Marie Barone
- [Marie has just presented the tofu turkey]
- Frank Barone: May I have my carving knife, please?
- Marie Barone: Thank you, Frank.
- Frank Barone: I wanna slit my throat!
- Marie Barone: [about the Tofu turkey] I think it's nice. It just needs a little adjustment. Right, Debra?
- Debra Barone: [Debra eats some of the turkey. Her face wrinkles, but recovers] It... does have something of an authentic turkey flavor...
- [optimistic]
- Debra Barone: ... And on the bright side, you don't have to sleep after this.
- Frank Barone: [miserably] That's all I had left!
- Frank Barone: [Marie is trying to go on a fat-free diet; much to the disapproval of Frank] I want real eggs and real milk!
- Marie Barone: Well then, you better go to IHOP, because from now on... We're eating healthy in this house!
- [she proceeds to clear out the fridge, putting the fat foods in a trash bag]
- Marie Barone: Salami, Baloney, Sour cream, Bacon...
- Frank Barone: No!
- Marie Barone: Cheese...
- Frank Barone: What, you wanna rip my heart out?
- Marie Barone: Oh yeah, chocolate cake...
- Frank Barone: [Frank grabs the bag from her] Thank you!
- Marie Barone: Where are you going?
- Frank Barone: [Frank snatches a fork and holds it out like a rapier] On a picnic!
- [shouts; pointing at Marie]
- Frank Barone: Out with the old bag!
- [holds up the trashbag full of food]
- Frank Barone: In with the new!