Alex Borstein credited as playing...
Lois Griffin • Mrs. Lipstein
- Lois Griffin: That was a lovely service, Francis.
- Meg Griffin: Super. And only three more hours 'till school.
- Chris Griffin: I didn't even know there was a 5:00 a.m. mass. I didn't even know there was a 5:00 a.m. What else haven't you told me?
- Lois Griffin: Peter, are you all right? Where's your father?
- Peter Griffin: Still at the factory. He's turning the break room into a chapel.
- Lois Griffin: A chapel? Where will you all eat lunch?
- Peter Griffin: Lois, lunch is a sin. Taking a break is a sin. Bestiality is a sin. I'm not sure how that came up exactly, but me... me and dad have never been closer. Having him at the factory is the best...
- [as he falls asleep, his head falls forward, the fork in his hand sticking into his forehead]
- Meg Griffin: Mom, I can't eat. I'm too grossed out by grandpa's ears.
- Chris Griffin: I know. They're like a big, gray enchanted forest.
- Lois Griffin: Kids, your grandfather's ears are not gross, and they are certainly not an enchanted forest.
- Peter Griffin: Hey, that was some speech, dad.
- Lois Griffin: Yes, it's a shame grandma wasn't there to hear it.
- Francis Griffin: Bless her heart. She's on another one of her prayer missions in Las Vegas.
- Mrs. Griffin: [cut to a Vegas casino] Hit me, you five-card stud.
- [hacking cough]
- Mrs. Griffin: Cocktail!
- Francis Griffin: [return to the car] Aye, she's a rose. It's a pity you couldn't find yourself a nice Irish Catholic girl, Peter.
- Lois Griffin: [uneasy laugh] Oh, Francis, this must be embarrassing for you. I'm in the car.
- Lois Griffin: He just left without saying anything? Where would he go?
- Peter Griffin: I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.
- Brian Griffin: I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute. I really hope he's dead.
- Peter Griffin: Tomorrow night, they're throwing a big dinner and we're all gonna be there to honor him.
- Meg Griffin: Why? We barely know him.
- Chris Griffin: Yeah, how come he never visits us?
- Lois Griffin: Well, kids, your grandfather has never been comfortable with the fact that I'm not Catholic.
- [flashback to Peter and Lois's wedding; a sign on their car reads "Just Married", and taped underneath is another sign reading "To a Protestant whore"]