Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Glenn Quagmire • Tom Tucker • Kevin • Police Officer • Charlton Heston • Peter's Conscience • Piano Boy • Flappy • Old Man • Rod Serling
- Peter Griffin: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in
- Joe Swanson: Wait a second. What about Peter? He's the one who wanted the trophy all along.
- Peter Griffin: I couldn't have stolen it. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
- Lois Griffin: Peter!
- Peter Griffin: What? It's a ladder. He can't use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy.
- Peter Griffin: I have an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
- Stewie Griffin: What are these? Pancakes? Oh oh, these are delectable. Good news Flappy, I've decided not to kill you!
- Stewie Griffin: I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez-moi pancakes! Click, click, bloody click PANCAKES!
- [after Stewie gets taken into an ethnically diverse foster family]
- Indian boy: Stewie, would you like to learn how to wrap a turban?
- Stewie: Why don't you teach it to the Chinese girl? Or perhaps she can learn after her people invade your country.
- Indian boy: Yee, would your people really do this?
- Stewie: Try and stop them. And try and stop Pablo's people from using drug money to buy arms from Li's countrymen who in turn sells them to Ura's people so that they can ethnically clense the rest of this nauseatingly diverse grab bag of genetic party favors you call a family. So now you all understand, yes? You all hate each other!
- [Children start crying]
- Tom Tucker: And the winning theme for the Harvest Day Parade float is... the episode of "Who's the Boss" where Tony sees Angela naked in the shower.
- Lois Griffin: Meg... is that a real Prada bag? How did you make $1100 as a waitress in a week?
- Meg Griffin: It's easy... when you're the unwed teenage mother of a crack-addicted baby. Ha ha ha ha...
- Peter Griffin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Meg. When did you become a teenager?
- Lois Griffin: Peter, she's sixteen.
- Peter Griffin: You KNEW about this?
- Li: Stewie, come complete our rainbow.
- Stewie Griffin: I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."
- Sandy Belford: [lying naked in bed] Mmm, Glenn honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?
- Glenn Quagmire: Heh! Hey, I have a question for you, too. Why are you still here?