Charles Durning credited as playing...
Francis Griffin
- Brian Griffin: Oh that's very Christian. Believe what I say or I'll hurt you.
- Francis Griffin: Now you're getting it!
- [Peter's Dad hits Brian with a Bible]
- Priest: I'm sorry, Mr. Griffin, but I can't baptize little Stewie today. It turns out our last shipment of holy water is tainted.
- Francis Griffin: Tainted? Holy water? How'd that happen?
- [cut to the Vatican, where a Cardinal leaves the bathroom without washing his hands]
- Francis Griffin: Every kitchen needs a crucifix.
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, yes, nothing says 'eat up' like a bleeding half naked jew nailed to a piece of wood.