Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • ...
A Hero Sits Next Door
Family Guy
Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Tom Tucker • Game Show Host • Former Neighbor • Bingo Guy • Kevin • Asian Man • Black Player • Robber #1 • Hostage #3 • Cop
- [Brian is panting. In front of him is an attractive woman]
- Woman on bleachers: Ugh! Pervert!
- Brian: Oh. Oh don't flatter yourself honey. I don't have any sweat glands
- [Peter almost foils a bank robbery]
- Peter Griffin: Hey, I'm supposed to be the hero here. Come on. Well, can I just pistol whip you guys a couple of times for the camera?
- Brian: [mistaking a police scanner for a normal radio, during a crime report] Is it just me, or is rap music just getting lazier?
- Bonnie Swanson: The movers tracked grease all over the carpet. I've tried everything to get it out.
- Lois Griffin: What about lemon juice?
- Fan at ball game: What about club soda?
- Stewie Griffin: What about shutting the hell up?
- Peter Griffin: Welcome to the neighborhood! Hiya, Joe.
- Joe Swanson: Peter.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, don't get up.
- Joe Swanson: This is a surprise, I kinda thought you didn't like me.
- Peter Griffin: Oh, what? Because of what I said this afternoon? Oh, no, no, no, see I have that disease where stuff just pops out your mouth... Go to hell! Go to hell! Whoop! Heh, see what I mean?
- [laughs]
- Joe Swanson: Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought maybe I crossed the line when I asked to borrow a screw driver.
- Peter Griffin: [moans] Are you kidding? You could borrow whatever you want.
- Joe Swanson: Great. Say, you don't have any picture wire do you?
- Peter Griffin: Picture wire? You son of a bitch. Eh, son of a bitch, son of a bitch! Heh, there it goes again.
- Joe Swanson: I don't want to impose.
- Peter Griffin: No problem, that's what neighbors do. H-hey you know what else they do? They play on their neighbor's company softball team, like this Saturday. Eh? What do you say neighbor? Eh?
- Joe Swanson: Sounds like fun.
- Peter Griffin: Hey, so much fun, it should be illegal, like copyrighted infringement.
- [Peter's face transforms into Mickey Mouse]
- Peter Griffin: [in Mickey Mouse voice] Ho-ho! See you at the game Joe, ho-ho!
- Brian: Gosh, I'd like to help you, Peter, but I've got to go out in the hall and chew on the back of my ass for about five minutes.