Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • ...
Brian: Portrait of a Dog
Family Guy
Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Tom Tucker • Jake Tucker • Announcer • Game Show Host • Blue M&M • Deer • Pillsbury Doughboy • Dog Sheriff • MacGyver • Jury #1
- Brian: [Brian licks Peter's face in appreciation] If you ever tell anyone about that, I will kill you.
- [at a dog show]
- Peter Griffin: Brian, come. Hey, don't you walk out on me.
- [aware that the audience is watching]
- Peter Griffin: Uh, heh. Uh, I now command you to leave. Yep. Keep going. Yeah, yeah, that's right, yeah, flip me off. Good boy. Heh heh, heh heh.
- Peter Griffin: Look, you got everything you could possibly want right here, now just eat your cinnamon buns, and stop being a bad dog.
- Brian Griffin: [gasp] How dare you? How dare you?
- Peter Griffin: How dare I? How dare I? Where do you think you're going?
- Brian Griffin: Out.
- Peter Griffin: Hey, hey you're not going anywhere without your leash.
- Brian Griffin: I don't need your damn leash and I don't need you! I'm going for a walk.
- Peter Griffin: Don't worry. He won't get far without this.
- [holds up spark-plug wires from the car]
- Police Officer: [after he brings Brian home from the streets; to Peter] And the fine is $10.00.
- [to Brian]
- Police Officer: Now you behave yourself, little guy. Understand?
- Brian Griffin: [sarcastically in a Southern voice] Oh Lordy, Lordy I'll never roam again!
- [Peter closes the door]
- Brian Griffin: Jackass.
- Lois Griffin: Peter, Brian please! Can't you two go back to the way you used to be?
- [cut to a scene with the same characters, but styled as a 1930s version might look, then cut back to the original scene]
- Brian Griffin: I'm never going back to the way things were, not after the way I was treated, not after the things I've seen.
- Chris Griffin: What did you see? Was it breasts?
- Peter Griffin: Ah, geez, get over it Brian, I mean, how bad you have it here? When I found you, you were nothing but a stray.
- Brian Griffin: [gasp] You swear, you never speak of that.
- [cut to flashback of Brian and Peter's first meeting: Brian is washing car windows for change, Peter is passing in his car]
- Peter Griffin: Uh, no thank you, I just had it cleaned.
- [Brian starts cleaning window]
- Peter Griffin: Oh. Ah, geez.
- Brian Griffin: All set, sir.
- Peter Griffin: I don't have any change, sorry.
- Brian Griffin: Oh, that's okay. No charge.
- Peter Griffin: Wait! Wait! Uh, you're hungry? 'Cause you know, my wife makes this beefaroni casserole, out of this world.
- Meg Griffin: Ugh, it's SO hot out there.
- Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Lois Griffin, Chris Griffin, Stewie Griffin: How hot is it?
- Meg Griffin: I don't know. Like around 98, 99?
- Peter Griffin: [Beat] I don't get it.
- Stewie Griffin: You! You seem to know all the players in this poorly acted farce. What do they call that one?
- Chris Griffin: That's Meg, dude. You know that.
- Stewie Griffin: Meg! You vile, smelly girl! You're not to touch any of my things! Do you understand me? Dirty, dirty girl!
- Peter Griffin: I would do anything for you, Brian.
- Brian Griffin: [puts down the paper, gets up to leave] I'll be on the veranda, since you're already on the cross.
- Lois Griffin: You're looking well.
- Brian Griffin: Yeah, don't get too close. They say I'm dangerous. That's why the MAN is gonna put me down.