Seth MacFarlane credited as playing...
Peter Griffin • Brian Griffin • Stewie Griffin • Glenn Quagmire • Tom Tucker • Dr. Elmer Hartman • Biker #2 • Dr. Kevorkian • Elliott • Executioner • Freddy Krueger • Hitler • Male Flight Attenden • Mike Wallace • Pilot
- Death: Wait, don't tell anyone I'm here. For if humanity discovers that I am no longer lurking in the shadows, the consequences will be dire.
- Peter Griffin: Go on...
- Death: That's it, what the hell do you see in him?
- Peter Griffin: Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons?
- [thug hits him with pool stick and Peter isn't hurt]
- Peter Griffin: Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons' friend, Richard Simmons?
- Lois Griffin: Peter, don't you see? As long as he's here, you can't die.
- Peter Griffin: Go on...
- Lois Griffin: That's it.
- Death: You can't tell anyone that I'm here. For if you do, the consequences could be dire.
- Peter Griffin: Go on...
- Death: That's it.
- [to Lois]
- Death: God, what do you see in him?
- Peter Griffin: Listen, I've had a good life. And you can always be proud of your father and all of his accomplishments.
- Meg Griffin: What accomplishments?
- Peter Griffin: Go to your room.
- Hitler: Today on Hitler we will talk to Hollywood hunk Christian Slater.
- Hitler: So tell me. In your next film. We get to see your but.
- Christian Slater: Well ugh? I guess you do.
- Hitler: Can we see it right now?
- Christian Slater: Um? sure I guess so.
- Hitler: Oh Oh he's going to do it!
- Hitler: If you are in the Los Angeles area and you want to get tickets to Hitler then call 213-Du Werdest Eine Krankenschwester Brauchen!
- Peter Griffin: I can't kill those kids! Then I'll have nothing to watch on Wednesdays...
- Peter Griffin: [slowly rolls eyes toward camera] ... except for the fine programming on Fox.
- [smiles innocently]
- Peter Griffin: Oh, this sucks, Brian. Why should I have to pay this?. I mean, there's nothing wrong with me.
- Brian Griffin: Yeah, it's a shame you're not dying.
- Peter Griffin: Wait a second, that's it. They can't make a dead guy pay his bill. All I gotta do is write 'deceased' right here where it says 'name'. And where it says 'sex', I'll write 'no thanks, I'm dead'. It's bulletproof!
- Stewie Griffin: You, heat up some gravy for our guest. My last helping of white meat was drier than Oscar Wilde.