Ben Browder credited as playing...
John Crichton
- Maldis: Your mother's maiden name was MacDougal. You skipped third grade. And you lost your virginity to Karen Shaw in the back of a minivan!
- John Crichton: Uh, it wasn't a minivan, it was a... four-by...
- John Crichton: [to Rygel] It's not Kansas, and you're way too homely to be Auntie Em. Come here, Toto.