Michael Gwynn credited as playing...
Lord Melbury
- Basil Fawlty: Your NAME, please. Could I have your name?
- Lord Melbury: Melbury.
- [the phone rings; Basil picks it up]
- Basil Fawlty: [to Melbury] One second, please.
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Hello?... Ah, yes, Mr. O'Reilly. Well, it's perfectly simple. Ah, when I asked you to build me a wall, I was rather hoping that instead of just, uh, dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together, you know, one on top of the other in the traditional fashion.
- Basil Fawlty: [to Melbury, testily] Could you fill it in, please?
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Oh, splendid! Ah, yes-yes-yes, ah, but WHEN, Mr O'Reilly?
- Basil Fawlty: [to Melbury, who is having difficulty with the register] There-there-there!
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Yes-yes-yes, but when? Yes, yes... yes, yes... ah!... the flu! Yes.
- Basil Fawlty: [to Melbury] BOTH names, please.
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly. That and the potato famine I suppose.
- Lord Melbury: I beg your pardon?
- Basil Fawlty: Would you put BOTH your names, please?
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Well, will you give me a DATE?
- Lord Melbury: Er... I only use one.
- Basil Fawlty: [with a withering look] You don't have a first name?
- Lord Melbury: No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign "Melbury".
- [there is a long, long pause]
- Basil Fawlty: [to phone] Go away.
- Basil Fawlty: [puts phone down] I'm SO sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship. I DO apologize. Please, please, accept my forgiveness. Now, is there something, ah, something, anything, that I can do for you? Anything at all?
- Basil Fawlty: ...Arh, Lord Melbury. May I introduce my wife?
- Lord Melbury: Yes, we have meet.
- Basil Fawlty: My wife, may I introduce your lordship.
- Sybil Fawlty: Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out.
- Basil Fawlty: Splendid, splendid.
- Basil Fawlty: Your lordship, may I offer you a little aperitif... as our guest?
- Lord Melbury: That's very kind of you... dry sherry if you please.
- Basil Fawlty: [to the Major] What else? Such... oh, I don't know what...
- Major Gowen: Je ne sais quoi?
- Basil Fawlty: Exactly! Exactly!
- Basil Fawlty: Now, about my priceless collection of coins?
- Lord Melbury: Oh, yes, ah, do you still...
- Basil Fawlty: Do I still want you to take them to be valued by the Duke of Buckleigh, milord?
- Lord Melbury: Ah, yes.
- Basil Fawlty: No, I don't. Because we've just heard that the Duke of Buckleigh is dead! Yes, got his head knocked off by a golf ball. Tragic! Tragic!