Toby Page credited as playing...
Master Ronald Heath
- Basil Fawlty: [overseeing dinner service, he approaches a table where the Heaths are eating] Good evening. Everything to your satisfaction?
- Mr. Heath: Oh...
- Mrs. Hall: Well, uh...
- Master Heath: [cutting in] I don't like the chips.
- Basil Fawlty: Sorry.
- Master Heath: The chips are awful.
- Basil Fawlty: Oh, dear. What's, uh, what's wrong with them, then?
- Master Heath: They're the wrong shape and they're just awful.
- Mrs. Hall: I'm afraid he gets everything cooked the way he likes it at home.
- Basil Fawlty: Ah, he does, does he?
- Master Heath: Yes, I do, and it's better than this pig's garbage.
- Mrs. Hall: Now, Ronald!
- Master Heath: [to Basil] These eggs look like YOU laid them.
- Mrs. Hall: Ronald!
- Mr. Heath: [to Ronald] Now look-look-look here, old chap...
- Mrs. Hall: [severely to Mr. Heath] Shut up! Leave him alone!
- Mrs. Hall: [sweetly to Basil] He's very clever... rather highly strung.
- Basil Fawlty: [forcing himself to smile] Yes... Yes, he should be.
- Master Heath: [to Basil] Haven't you got any PROPER chips?
- Basil Fawlty: Well, these ARE proper French-fried potatoes. You see, the chef IS Continental.
- Master Heath: Couldn't you get an English one?
- Mrs. Heath: Why don't you eat just one or two, dear?
- Master Heath: They're the wrong SHAPE.
- Basil Fawlty: Oh, dear... What shape you usually have? Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? Amphibious landing-craft shape? Poke-in-the-eye shape?
- Master Heath: God, you're dumb.
- Mrs. Heath: Oh, now.
- Basil Fawlty: [gritting his teeth] Is there something we can get you instead, SONNY?
- Master Heath: I'd like some bread and salad cream.
- Basil Fawlty: To eat? Well, there's the bread, and there's the mayonnaise.
- Master Heath: I said "salad cream", stupid.
- Basil Fawlty: We don't HAVE any salad cream. The chef made this freshly this morning.
- Master Heath: What a dump!
- Mr. Heath: Th-h-h-h-h-h-h-his is very good.
- Mrs. Heath: [firmly] He likes salad cream.
- Master Heath: That's PUKE, that is.
- Basil Fawlty: Well, at least it's FRESH puke!