Prunella Scales credited as playing...
Sybil Fawlty
- Sybil Fawlty: [with only four people attending the grand opening of Gourmet Night] I should never have let you write that advert. Fancy putting "no riff-raff."
- Sybil Fawlty: Are you still here, Basil?
- Basil Fawlty: No, I went a couple minutes ago, dear, but I expect I'll be back shortly.
- Sybil Fawlty: [talking about the best time to hold Gourmet Night] Andre thinks Thursday nights would be best.
- Basil Fawlty: Thursdays?
- André: I think so.
- Basil Fawlty: Right. And on the other nights we'll just have a big trough of baked beans and garnish it with a couple dead dogs.
- Basil Fawlty: [Frantically typing at a typewriter] He's out! He's flat out! So André's, uh...
- Sybil Fawlty: Who is?
- Basil Fawlty: What!
- Sybil Fawlty: Who ls out?
- Basil Fawlty: Kurt! Who do you think, Henry Kissinger?
- Sybil Fawlty: What do you mean "out"?
- Basil Fawlty: He's *drunk*!
- Sybil Fawlty: Drunk?
- Basil Fawlty: Drunk! Soused! Potted! Inebriated! Got it?
- Sybil Fawlty: I don't believe it.
- Basil Fawlty: [Still typing frantically] Neither do I. Perhaps it's a dream.
- [Smacks his head three times on desk]
- Basil Fawlty: No, it's not a dream; we're stuck with it. Right!
- Sybil Fawlty: [a party of four cancels its dinner reservation] One of them's ill
- Basil Fawlty: Well, let's hope it's nothing trivial.
- Sybil Fawlty: The only place I've ever really seen him eat is your restaurant, André. Now he's stuffing it away like a hamster.
- Basil Fawlty: Really, Sybil.
- Sybil Fawlty: We're going to have to buy him a great big wheel to run around in when he's got a moment, or he'll get like a big, bad-tempered tomato.
- Sybil Fawlty: You can write the advertisement in the Echo. Only, don't make it too toffee nosed, Basil. We don't want to put people off.
- Basil Fawlty: I just want to keep the riffraff away, dear.
- Colonel Hall: Who are you? I mean, I don't know your name!
- Basil Fawlty: [to Sybil] What is it?
- Sybil Fawlty: What?
- Basil Fawlty: My name.