Cheryl Hines: Kate

Catnip and Trust

Kate

Sierra: [notices a plastic bag that has been thrown on the table by her parents] What's that?
Kate: Don't get cute. This isn't a game Sierra. It's catnip.
[reads from a book]
Kate: Or as you and your friends might call it: Mulch, snorkel, monkey junk, street cheese or Siamese cole slaw.
Sierra: What? You think that's mine?
Larry: We found it in your room.
Sierra: Oh my God. You searched my room. What happened to privacy?
Sierra: We saw a movie about a lion that drove a truck! We're not going to let that happen to you.
Sierra: Well it's not mine!
Kate: Then who's is it?
Sierra: I don't know. Maybe one of my friends put it there. Or maybe it's Siegfried and Roy's. I mean that would definetly explain the outfits.
Kate: Uh-huh. We're supposed to believe that.
Sierra: Yeah, because it's the truth.
[pauses as she looks at her parents]
Sierra: I don't believe it. You don't trust me.
Kate: No, we don't trust you. For all we know you're high on the...
[glances at book again]
Kate: ... Friedman right this minute.
Larry: [glances over at book in Kate's hands] Honey, that's the doctor who did the study.

Kate: [rushes into living room carrying a plastic bag with green substance in it] Larry, this is a nightmare. Look what I just found in Sierra's room.
[hands bag to Larry]
Kate: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is.
Larry: [sniffs bag] Yep, that's catnip.
Kate: Oh God, our daughter's a niphead.
Sarmoti: Nice. You run a tight ship champ.
[pats Larry on the back]
Kate: This explains the locked doors and the weird attitude.
Larry: Look, she's a teenager. She's bound to experiment.
Sarmoti: "Bound to experiment"? Way to parent with authority. Call me when she's pregnant.

Sierra: [opens locked front door] You guys are back early.
Kate: Why was the door locked?
Sierra: I don't know. The better question is: Why do we live in a world where the doors need locks?
Larry: I think she's got us there.

Kate: When I was a teenager I never tried catnip. Did you?
Larry: Me? Catnip? Never.
Snack: [drops into room] Hey kitty cats. What's happening?
Larry: [hands plastic bag to Snack] We just found this in Sierra's room.
Snack: Ahhhh- hah ha! This must take you back Lar. Always had the good stuff, huh buddy?
Larry: [waving hands and shaking head in "no don't" gesture]
Snack: Always a party at Larry's. Lots and lots of ladies.
Larry: [slaps forehead in frustration]
Snack: Some say they were only there for the 'nip. But hey, at least they were there. Does this ring any bells?
[starts to spin on his head]
Snack: Whoooooooooooooo!
Larry: [stops Snack's spinning with his hand]
Larry: [to Kate] Heh. He's not doing it right.

Kate: That isnt funny, young lady! We were very very furried about you!... Hey, Lar, check it out. I Just said "furried" instead of "worried".
Larry: Furried, that's awesome... Who are you?

Henry Davis, white lion at Rave: Congratulations!
[puts necklace of cat nip sausages around Kate's neck]
Henry Davis, white lion at Rave: I crown you "Miss Most Likely to Make Out With Me".
Kate: Henry Davis? I'm in a bookclub with your mother.
Henry Davis, white lion at Rave: Oh!
[backs away in a robot-like fashion]
Henry Davis, white lion at Rave: Abort! Abort! Abort! Abort! Abort!