Adam Baldwin credited as playing...
Jayne Cobb
- Jayne Cobb: Wha - are you-are you sayin' she's a witch?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the Beast.
- Jayne Cobb: She's in Congress?
- Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious.
- Jayne: Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearin' what I'm thinkin'.
- Inara Serra: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.
- [after River gets a hold of one of Jayne's guns]
- Jayne: Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction. I didn't make her crazy. Hell, I didn't even want 'er on the ship.
- Mal: Is that the direction you want this conversation to go in?
- Jayne: Just don't wanna take a lashin' for something I ain't the cause of.
- Zoë: Where's River at now?
- Mal: In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
- Wash: That's a little extreme, isn't it?
- Jayne: Anybody remember her coming at me with a butcher's knife?
- Wash: Wacky fun.
- Jayne: You wanna go, little man?
- Wash: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
- Zoë: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
- Jayne: Butcher's knife!
- Zoë: Anyone we can't spare.
- Jayne Cobb: So like, never?
- Book: Well, no.
- Jayne Cobb: Not ever never?
- Book: Some orders allow Shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.
- Jayne Cobb: But, I mean, you still got the urge. They don't... cut it off, or nothin'?
- Book: Mm, no, I'm more or less intact. I just... direct my energy elsewhere.
- Jayne Cobb: You mean like masturbatin'?
- Book: I hope you're not thinking of taking orders yourself.
- Jayne Cobb: Oh, yeah, that'll be the day.
- Jayne Cobb: It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne, it's got a ring to it.
- Book: I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.
- Jayne Cobb: I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. Don't that count upstairs?
- Book: Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.
- Jayne Cobb: You made that sound kinda ominous.