Nathan Fillion: Captain Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds

Shindig

Captain Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds

Sir Warwick Harrow: You have to finish it, lad. You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten... and yet breathing? It makes him a coward.
Inara Serra: It's humiliation.
Mal: Sure. It would be humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.
[lightly stabs Atherton with the sword]
Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.
[stabs him again]
Mal: Well, I'm all right.

Mal: 'Kay, help me find our man. He's supposed to be older, kind of stocky, wears a red sash crossways.
Kaylee: Why does he do that?
Mal: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone pageant. Just help me look.
Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: That's the buffet table.
Kaylee: Well, how can we be sure, u-unless we question it?
[smiles widely]

Mal: How would you even set up a meet, man won't deal with you?
Badger: Know a place he'll be. Safe place. Using some new tech gun scans. High class, too. Won't let me in there. You might slip in. Of course, you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I got my hands on a couple.
[Mal and Jayne struggle to not laugh]
Badger: Of invites.

Sir Warwick Harrow: Whom do you represent?
Mal: Represent isn't exactly the...
Sir Warwick Harrow: Don't waste my time.
Mal: Fellow called Badger.
Sir Warwick Harrow: I know him, and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

Badger: Captain Reynolds. Heard you was in town. Thought we might have a bit of a sit-down.
Mal: Prefer a bit of a "piss off".
Badger: I'm very sorry. Did I give you the impression I was askin'?

Mal: Does, uh... does this seem kind of tight?
Kaylee: Shows off your backside. Did you see the chandelier? It's hovering.
Mal: What's the point of that, I wonder?
Kaylee: Oh, mangos!
Mal: I mean, I see how they did it. I just ain't gettin' the why.
Kaylee: These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I. How 'bout that?
Mal: Yeah, well, just be careful. We cheated Badger out of good money to buy that frippery, and you're supposed to make me look respectable.
Kaylee: Yes, sir, Cap'n Tight-Pants.

Inara: You have a strange sense of nobility, Captain. You'll lay a man out for implying I'm a whore, but you keep calling me one to my face.
Mal: I might not show respect to your job, but he didn't respect *you*. That's the difference. Inara, he doesn't even see you.
Inara: Well, I guess death will solve the issue to everyone's satisfaction.

Mal: You backed out of a deal last time. Left us hangin'?
Jayne: Hurt our feelings.
Mal: You recall why that took place?
Badger: Had a problem with your attitude, is why. Felt you was - what's the word?
Jayne: Pretentious?

Mal: Resupply, look for work, move along. We sniff the air. We don't kiss the dirt.
Zoë: Wasn't planning on the dirt kissin', sir.
Wash: I wouldn't stand for it anyway, Captain, jealous man like me.

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: [of an alarm sounding from the console] Closing in.
Zoë Washburne: Planet's comin' up a mite fast.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne: Ah, that's just 'cause I'm goin' down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: Well, that happens, let me know.

Inara: I am grateful, you know, for the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt to defend my honor, although, I didn't want you to.
Mal: Gracious as that is...

Mal: Whoa, whoa, I'm not runnin' off. I don't know what you got in your head, but I didn't do this to prove some kind of point to you. I actually thought I was defending your honor. And I never back down from a fight.
Inara: Yes, you do. You do all the time.
Mal: Well, yeah. But, I'm not backin' down from this one.

Mal: Now, you taking on this job - being my second - does this mean we're in business?
Sir Warwick Harrow: It means you're in mortal danger. But you mussed up Atherton's face, and that has endeared you to me somewhat.

[Inara is teaching Mal how to fence; Mal just missed and got smacked on the behind]
Inara: How did I avoid that?
Mal: By being fast like a freak?

Jayne: [drinking tea] This ain't bad.
Badger: There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol.
Mal: Now, we're favored guests, treated to the finest in beverages that make you blind.

Inara: I've seen him before.
Mal: Oh, I never did. Not what I pictured. Young. Must be rich, to afford your rates.
Inara: I suppose. He has engaged me for several days.
Mal: Days? Boy must have stamina.
Inara: Mmm. He does.

Mal: It sounds like the finest party I could imagine gettin' paid to go to.
Inara: I don't suppose you'd find it up to the standards of your outings. More conversation and somewhat less petty theft and getting hit with pool cues.